Understanding Men

The Signs That Tell You He is Not Ready to Commit

12.04.2012 | By: S. B.

Which are those warning signs which tell you he is not ready to commit to you?



not ready to commit

He is not ready to commit if he never uses the magic word 'we'. (PhotoXpress)


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He's not ready to commit if you haven't met his parents yet

Did he mention his family and his plans to introduce you to them? It is true that some men need a bit more time to make sure they have chosen the right girl, and then they gather the courage and introduce her to the parents. If he explained that his parents are pressuring him about when he will finally find the right one, then maybe he has a good reason not to introduce you because in this case this is a really big step for him to make. 

In case he never mentioned his family to you or he never gave you a reasonable answer, then something is definitely fishy about the whole situation. If you asked him when are you going to visit his family together and he always found a way out of it, then maybe he is not ready for a serious relationship. Maybe you even met his parents but it seemed like he never mentioned you to them?

It is also possible that he is still not completely sure you are the one for him, or maybe he is even dating several girls and you're just another adventure to him. After a few months have passed you should definitely ask him why is he hiding his family from you: Is he ashamed of them or he just doesn't see you as a part of the family?

He is not ready to commit if he's still quite mysterious 

When we are ready for a serious relationship, we usually say or at least show that we feel relaxed with a certain person. The transitional period from an adventure to a serious relationship is usually marked by a greater expression of trust between the partners, which means sharing your view of the world and the thoughts that go through your minds. If your man hasn't opened up yet this is not necessarily a bad thing. Maybe that is his character or he is just not able to relax as much as you can.

It is however natural that the conversations become more relaxed and touch upon deeper themes, for example common plans for the future. If your man is still very quiet then maybe he's carrying dark secrets, maybe he's cheating on you or you're just another girl for him. Think about how close you really are to him: Do you feel you know him a lot better than before or do you have the feeling he still lives in the world of his own where you're not allowed to enter?

He's not ready to commit if he still gives you the impression of being single

There are numerous reasons that he is not ready to commit yet. Is he still often partying with his male friends and he only rarely decides to go out just with you? Does he ever decide in your favor instead of his friends? Does he rarely call you after the date? Maybe he still thinks of himself as a single man or at least not as seriously committed.

If he never uses the magic word 'we' then that's a definite sign that you two as a serious couple do not exist in his head. He is still thinking of you two as of two people who are just having fun together, but that's all there is to it. Even though he is in love with you there's no guarantee that he wants to commit. If he doesn't change in a couple of months, it is better to leave him and enjoy the advantages of a single life.


Read more about sex and sexuality in our Lover's Guide.