13 Kinds of Sex for Wrong Reasons

In an ideal world, there would only be sex for the sake of love and intended for reproduction. But in reality, people have all kinds of sex for various reasons…even the wrong ones.

 

It’s best not to put the vase your mother-in-law gave you, near your bed. (jlp)

 

1. Wild sex: You grab and scratch, groan and scream… and then something breaks, as usual. But you don’t care because you’re an animal, wild and uncontrolable…

 

2. Hate sex: Maybe you have a sexually transmitted disease that you’d like to share with him/her, or you just want him/her to fall in love with you and then you’ll break his/her heart.

 

3. Drunk sex: There’s a chance that you wake up in the morning beside your cousin and can’t remember anything, but you can console yourself with the fact that you probably couldn’t get it up anyway.

You managed to free yourself from his arms, but there’s still a long way to the door. (jlp)

4. One-night stand: Carefully put on your clothes, sneak out and hope that she doesn’t remember your name or phone number.

 

5. Tired sex: Although you’re  aware that you're basically just lying there like a piece of wood, you’re just too tired and sleepy to muster up any energy and creativity, as opposed to your partner…

 

6. Grateful sex: Nowadays, when money means everything, sex is also considered a sort of currency. It’s accepted by all men, so you no longer have to wonder how to thank him for those diamond earrings he gave you for your birthday.

 

7. Charity sex: If you forgot to help flood victims or donate for the hungry in Africa, you can pay your debt to society by taking pity on a person who’s obsessed with you and  sends you text messages non-stop, or a pesky friend who wants something more.

It’s so nice to wake up next to someone... (jlp)

8. Morning sex: There’s nothing more amazing than making out in bed after a night of drinking… if we don’t consider the bags under your eyes, a headache and bad breath.

 

9. Wedding night sex: Some people fall asleep in their wedding clothes after a day of ceremonies and drinking, but those who’ve waited until their wedding night can finally unwrap their present. 

 

10. Quickie: It’s hard to imagine a better way to spend five minutes than the popular ‘quickie’. It’s best described by an old American saying: Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am!

 

You shouldn’t have phone sex while your partner is sleeping next to you. (jlp)

 

11. Phone sex: Moaning and groaning sounds on the phone have lately been replaced by a web camera. Wondering what the future might bring…

 

12. First sex: In your mother’s bedroom, behind a bush full of thorns or in the back seat of your car – you never forget the first one...

 

13. Bad sex: There are thousands of ways how to turn sex into a painful workout. You probably know at least one of them.

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