Choosing a Partner: What Do We Fall For - Looks, Personality or Money?

In this article you can read about what women and men look for in a sweetheart. There are several factors at play in choosing a partner!

Especially in youth, choosing a partner is based on physical attributes, but with age these are pushed somewhat into the background. However, looks always remain important. (jlp)

He’s good-looking, but why?

It’s a known fact that it’s not that important whether a man is handsome or not. Women are attracted by a nice and even figure and face because these please their aesthetic sense, but their willingness to open up erotically, to be ready for love, or even marriage, doesn’t depend on that. When choosing a partner, women prefer rugged features, a strong personality, a certain amount of independence, and being special, to some ideal image of masculine beauty taken out of fashion magazines.

The personality is the real magnet

Women pay more attention than men to psychological and personal traits. Being considerate and affectionate induce erotic sensations in them, and they like a certain amount of supremacy, so that they feel safe. It’s known that in choosing a partner, some women are influenced by social stature, power and money, as if these were some kind of a male perfume - or even an aphrodisiac.

A man must know how to amuse a woman and how to make her feel safe. (jlp)

Usually, a woman’s love is induced by a likeable character, by dependability, faithfulness and reliability, intellect and a sense of humour, and willingness to show consideration for her. It needn't be emphasised that physical strength, a fiery character and enthusiasm, passion and temperament also play a significant role in sexual attraction and choosing a partner.

What do men look for?

Unlike women, men pay more attention to the exterior. They’re far more attracted if a woman is beautiful or at least generally attractive, meaning that she has a nice body and a well-proportioned face. Hair is important: most men prefer long blond hair. The most attractive features seem to be female breasts.

Female breasts are a link to life. The size itself doesn’t really matter that much. (jlp)

Scientific research has shown that men automatically and unconsciously first look at breasts when they see a woman, only later do they see her face. Legs and the shape of the behind also play a vital role as a male erotic trigger. In a partnership, these attributes of female appearance can make the feelings more intense in the long run. That’s why women shouldn’t be too eager to hide their breasts, legs and the shape of their buttocks: with appropriate clothing, they can accentuate these body parts.

Love is blind – long-term

But relationships based mostly or solely on physical attraction usually don’t work out in the long haul. This happens at the latest when the greatest sexual arousal ends and the reverse reaction comes into play: becoming fed up with the person, that is if there are no emotional and spiritual connections between the partners. That’s why beautiful women are rarely happy and have to be especially careful when choosing a partner.

How do the terms beautiful, rich and love go hand in hand?

Unconsciously, there is a struggle going on between men about who’ll get the most beautiful woman. Women don’t want men to only get them, but marry them as well. Thus a paradox forms, where the most competent, successful, powerful and richest men have the most beautiful women for their partners, without there being any love involved. Wives often know how to make their husbands think they love them, but usually a marriage built on mutual cheating comes crashing down one day. The consequences are familiar: marital spats and crises, fighting and separation.

Which gender is more self-interested when choosing a partner? (jlp)

How to maintain a relationship for a long time?

In a “real” relationship, all these factors that we've recognized (used in the right measure) can maintain or even increase the partners' appeal to each other. Let us mention that personal hygiene, clothes and erotic underwear seem to be important here. If a partner has a desire for these, the other person should try to make it come true, unless this requires too much effort. A young person shouldn’t really need stimulants and aphrodisiacs. Up to a certain age, the source of all erotic energy is in the eyes and the body. The ability to turn someone on is therefore guaranteed on a physical level, but the head must function in a way that triggers a reaction.

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