Hello. I am a man and I am 38 years old. For quite some time I've been noticing that my penis doesn't stiffen enough to have sexual intercourse. Otherwise I am healthy and I have had the same partner for several years. Can you help me?

It should be determined what changed your relationship that the problem with stiffening of the penis has arisen. In addition, it should also be determined – despite your saying that you are healthy – the state of your actual physical health. Problems with stiffening of the penis are indeed mostly caused by an emotional or mental situation at your age. They may however also be caused by a physical illness.

I recommend that you consult your general practitioner. He or she will determine what type of help you need, as today every problem with stiffening of the penis can be treated.

My name is Mojca and I am 30, and I have never experienced orgasm. My friends tell me about mind blowing orgasms and I feel awkward because I don't know what they are talking about. I enjoy in sex but I haven't yet experienced orgasm. I don't masturbate, because I think that this is something bad. Please, help me.

Disregard the stories of your friends about mind blowing orgasms. It is a fact that one third of women have the same problems with orgasm as you have.

First change your attitude towards yourself and your genital area. Namely, you have written that you do not masturbate, because you think it is a bad thing. This also means that you do not have a positive, friendly attitude towards yourself and your genital area. There is nothing wrong with masturbation and, in fact, it shows a friendly attitude towards oneself. Therefore, it is you who can determine by masturbating what type of caressing pleases you and what gives you the greatest pleasure.

Start by watching your genital area, touching it, and determining what pleases you the most. If you use creative imagination, it may lead to masturbation, that is, until you start enjoying it. Relax yourself and do not burden yourself with thinking whether you will come.

You can do the same with your partner, when exploring the feelings that you experience by caressing different parts of the body, including the genital area. In this way, you will be able to achieve a relaxed state which will help you reach orgasm.

I've been married to my husband for 20 years, and we have a good sex life, at least I think so. Lately my husband has lost interest in me and I can barely make him have sex. And even then our intercourse is short and he doesn't make an effort that I could also reach orgasm. I'm worried that there is something wrong with him, or that he may have someone else.

You need to talk to your husband openly. He knows best what changed in his attittude towards you. Without openly discussing it with him, you will keep torturing yourself with the worst possibility that he has another woman. Only through conversation you will be able to determine what the most common cause for the lack of interest in sex is. Namely, this is monotony, meaning that you always have sex based on the same procedure or pattern. Perhaps you will then realise that sex as well needs to be cultivated and made exciting from time to time with unusual things or aids (e.g. pornography), and that sometimes you should have sex in an unsusual place, at an unusual time or in a completel different way. Try it.

I'm 18 and I had my first sexual intercourse two years ago. I feel frustrated because I always come too fast. As soon as I start with sexual intercourse I reach orgasm. When I masturbate, I don't have such problems. How can you help me?

Your problem is very common at the beginning of sex life of young men. It is anxiety, the fear of coming too fast. Fear then has an effect on the nerves of your genitals so that you really come too fast. />
Therefore, you need to get rid of fear, relax and thus learn to control ejaculation of semen. This may also be done by taking your penis out of the vagina as soon as you feel that you will come and let your partner squeeze it at the neck (neck of the penis is the narrowing between the head and the body). She should hold her index finger and middle finger at the lower part of the neck of the penis and her thumb above it. She should squeeze so much that the feeling of coming to fast declines. You have to learn this procedure by using it at least 4 to 5 times before you come.

Hello. I'd like to ask you how to improve my sex life. I alwys have sex with my wife in the same position and I cannot get her ready to try something else. She also doen't like that I touch her genital area. She likes it best if we start having sex immediately and in the dark. But I'd like that our sex life to be more thrilling.

It is obvious that your wife does not relax during sexual intercourse. You therefore need to talk openly to your wife about sex in a way that she will understand she can also enjoy more if she relaxes. It would also be positive if she changed her attitude towards herself, her genital area and sex in general. If she does not allow you to touch her genitals, and if she wants to have sex in the dark, this shows a negative attitude towards herself and sexuality, and it also show she does not relax, which is a result of this attitude. You must therefore learn that sex is something beautiful and not a dirty and bad thing. There is no place for embarrassment. In sex, you should be able to relax and explore all the possible feelings that you can arouse in each other.