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Written on: 1. Apr 2010 10:51
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andrea24
Topic creator
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31
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hey,
my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. I'm 24 and he's 27. the problem is that he only wants to have sex two to three times a month, and I would really need more. he says that he's just not that into sex, that sex doesn't mean a lot to him. I wonder if I am the trouble and if he doesn't find me particularly attractive anymore. isn't it usually that women don't want to have sex as often as guys?
thank you!
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Written on: 2. Apr 2010 19:18
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lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 61
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Hello, andrea!
Uhm ... How is it possible that after just two years you do it that rarely? Was he like that from the beginning, or has anything changed? Do you live together and has everything turned into routine? Do you think he's cheating on you? Does he have any traumas in connection with sex? Is he under stress a lot?
Try to find out more. I doubt that he's just not that into sex!
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Written on: 4. Apr 2010 11:22
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Jenna
registered since: 16.03.2010
Posts: 11
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I don't know, I wouldn't completely agree with lollypop. Men aren't all the same, they're individuals and they respond different to different things. Some decide for celibacy when they become monks, for example. Andrea, perhaps your boyfriend just doesn't value sex the way you do, or perhaps he thinks of it as something sinful. But that means you're quite incompatible. Perhaps you should be looking for another boyfriend
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Written on: 4. Apr 2010 11:25
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Mario42
registered since: 18.03.2010
Posts: 5
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Perhaps he's gay?
Why would he be with you in the first place if he's not turned on by your appearance? Are you two such spiritual beings?
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Written on: 4. Apr 2010 11:31
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Jenna
registered since: 16.03.2010
Posts: 11
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Come on, Mario! Don't scare the girl! You were joking, right? Now why would he be with her if he were gay? I guess the times when gays seeked female partners just for a cover are over.
Ok, let's wait for andrea to tell us more, if she will
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Written on: 5. Apr 2010 16:32
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andrea24
Topic creator
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31
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hey again,
it was like that from the beginning, and we needed quite a lot of time to get to the point of having sex at all. we're not living together and I don't think he's bored with me. he's quite a sensitive type of person and I'm afraid I would upset him if I brought this topic up in a conversation. otherwise, we make a good couple, everybody says so. it might be that he's a bit embarrassed with his penis, because it is a bit bent?
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Written on: 3. May 2010 08:25
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pansymaid
registered since: 03.05.2010
Posts: 5
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I was in the same situation and after much sole searching from us both I agreed she could take a lover.
Shortly after this decision from us both a new black work colleague of hers came on to her, she told me of this and I said maybe he could be the one. At 12 yrs her junior I felt that he probably had everything she would require from a physical relationship and it would be unlikely that she would leave me for this guy. She has now been seeing him aboput 2 or 3 times a week for about 18 months and it really does work for us both. It has changed the dynamic of our relationship a little in that I am more submissive to her but shes sensual loving and now more confident as opposed to before where she was constantly frustrated.
I think this is something you should consider with your boyfriend Andrea
[This article was edited 1 times, at last 03.05.2010 at 08:26.]
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Written on: 3. May 2010 09:33
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Horus
registered since: 06.04.2010
Posts: 16
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In theory, getting another lover could be a good idea. However before you decide on doing that, you might want to make 300% sure that your relationship is as strong as ever. A third person could very easily break your relationship and if there is even the smallest suspicion of jealousy, lack of trust or something the like, it would be better to not do it.
In that case, I guess there's not much you can do.
@Pansymaid - and you are really completely fine with her getting another lover? I'm not sure I could take it so easily. I mean, what did this discussion sound like? I can't imagine saying "Dear, why don't you go and find another man to satisfy your physical needs."
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Written on: 5. May 2010 10:30
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andrea24
Topic creator
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31
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Well, I actually hinted that perhaps we should think at least of swinging, if he's bored with me, but he wouldn't listen. He said there's no way he'd want another man to touch me in that way.
Running out of options here, I'm seriously considering dumping him by now ... I have my needs and they aren't met by far 
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Written on: 7. May 2010 15:33
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lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 61
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Well if talking about it didn't help, then your options really might have run out :/ Sorry
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