4 Ways to Turn a Guy Down after the First Date

20.08.2010 | By: I. M.

The first date was horrible and now you don't know how to turn the guy down in a nice way. We offer great tips on how to do it.

Turning down a guy after the first date is an obvious sign that something was very wrong during your date. (Photoxpress)

First dates can be very unpleasant, awkward and tense, especially if you don’t feel that “spark”, which makes you want to see him again. A lot of people think that it is better to be rejected than to reject someone but there are some who can’t agree with this. It is really difficult to find the right words when ending a relationship and no matter how hard you try you always end up hurting that person. Rejection after the first date requires some explanation or an excuse. You should tell the guy why you don’t want to meet him again or give him your phone number. Such rejection is an obvious sign that something was very wrong during your date. After the first date certain desires, hopes and expectations appear and rejection can easily bring them to an end. Rich Santos, a journalist for a web magazine Marie Claire, suggests four ways of turning down a guy. The first two ways are for turning down nice guys, who just didn’t manage to ignite the spark, but the other two are for overzealous men, who can’t take no for an answer. These are Rich’s suggestions…

1. Way to turn a guy down: White lie

White lie spares the humiliation. A great excuse is an on-going emotional attachment to your ex-boyfriend or the fact that you still aren’t ready to make new commitments and that you will call him when things change. Turning down a guy in this way is actually self-sacrifice and you spare him the embarrassment of not being able to charm you. Still, don’t give false hope of a serious relationship some day in the future without really meaning it. And don’t make promises. This way he won’t dream about a relationship which will never happen.

2. Way to turn a guy down: “Let’s just be friends”

This type of rejection is very subtle way of turning down a guy and it says that a man is a wonderful person and you don’t want to completely exclude him from your life. You see him in the role of your friend rather than your lover. From a man’s point of view a wish for friendship is a nice gesture, but the possibility remains that he will try hard to make you love him. That is why you have to be really careful not to raise expectations. Avoid inviting him to your place because he might interpret it completely differently.

3. Way to turn a guy down: “You are a complete jerk!”

Rich recommends this when you are dealing with a moron, who doesn’t know what he does wrong. So if he, for example, goosed you, talked about his ex-girlfriends or was rude you should let him know that such behavior is totally unaccapteble and you don't have to turn him down nicely. By being honest you will actually be doing him a favor, not to mention the benefits to all other girls he’ll take on a date. In this case, don’t worry about his feelings, because someone has to make him see what he does wrong. After such a rejection he will never call you again.

4. Way to turn a guy down: Disappear into thin air

Drastic times call for drastic measures. Sometimes a girl has to vanish completely, so a guy can understand that you don’t want to see him or hear from him again. Pleasant men deserve some sort of a closure or an explanation. But as Rich says, sometimes you are allowed to turn down guys in such a way. A man should understand this absence of communication, and if he doesn’t this only proves that you’ve made the right decision by rejecting him.

The more you are involved in a relationship the more difficult it is to turn someone down. If your date was a great guy but you just didn’t feel that connection, you definitely owe him an explanation why you don’t want to begin a relationship. But if his company was totally unpleasant you have two choices: to be honest or to disappear.