5 Things a Single Woman Never Wants to Hear

16.06.2011 | By: Izabela M

If you have a friend who’s single, then be careful to not let slip any of the following lines!

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Despite the fact that some friendly words of advice are usually meant well, they could still upset the one you actually want to comfort. A particular piece of advice could easily backfire and lead to your friend getting the creeps anytime she hears anything like that. You should rather tell her that she’s a wonderful person who lacks nothing and that she should enjoy her life as much as she can. Now, what kinds of sentences should you avoid? Well, Karin Anderson Ph.D., a psychology professor at Concordia University in Chicago, has come up with a very interesting list.

Nr. 1: “Maybe You’re Not Trying Hard Enough!”

Your friend could take this the wrong way and even think that you’re judging her. It would be a lot more sensible to encourage her to take a chance with a new relationship which could very well end up being pleasant, unforced, and spontaneous. It’ better to tell her to start something new exclusively on her own terms and in her own time. If she doesn’t appear to feel the need for a new partner and enjoys being single, then nobody in the world has the right to object to it.

Nr.2: “Go Man-Hunting!”

A single woman could understand this as a hint that she’s not doing everything she should to meet a new guy, that she doesn't exploit the full potential of the internet, doesn’t attend speed dating events or blind dates, and that she basically doesn’t live her life as she’s supposed to. Avoid such remarks. Though it may look as if she doesn’t have any interest in meeting new people, you should really keep in mind that single women of today don’t hide in their apartment all the time - they go to work, attend social events, and actually meet new people quite often. So, on average, there’s really no need to attend special singles events to meet new guys.

Nr. 3: “Use More Make-Up!”

Such an imperative sentence can be understood as a direct and merciless attack on her personal identity. The way she looks reflects her personality. As for her style and her looks, a single woman has every right to wear what she feels comfortable in. And besides, there is definitely a man somewhere who will be swept away by her originality. Should she dress or act in away that doesn’t suit her character she’ll only be acting a part, and sooner or later other people (not least potential partners) will find her out. Of course, it’s worth emphasizing that there is a difference between not using make-up and just letting yourself go.

Nr. 4: “You’re too Picky!”

A single woman sets her own distinct standards when it comes to choosing a potential partner and she will stick to them no matter what. By implying that she may be too picky, you could send her the massage that her standards are past their expiration date and that she should settle for any man who crosses her path and shows at least an ounce of interest in her. Go ahead and advise her to take an invitation for dinner here and there and encourage her to stick to her standards in order to prevent being sucked into another unhappy relationship. A single woman has every right to look for someone who will appeal to her on the grounds of their personality, their looks, their reasoning, as well as on the grounds of mutual sexual compatibility.

Nr. 5: “Why Don't You Change a Bit?”

You think that your friend is too talkative, asks too many questions, frightens men with her straightforwardness, is too opinionated, or just keeps herself to busy all the time? Still, these are the traits that make her unique. To advise her to “change her identity” so that men will find it easier to like her would be completely und utterly wrong. That’s hardly good advice. If she should actually take it, she might deprive herself of what makes her truly unique. She wouldn’t be able to establish a genuine connection with her new partner, which could lead to a disastrous relationship or to an even more disastrous marriage in the end. People find it very hard to conceal their true personalities over a longer period of time. Even her partner doesn’t have the right to demand that she changes what she is. Just asking her to do so, proves that he has issues regarding self-confidence. A single woman, who is successful and happy, has no reason on earth to change just so that she would appeal to men.