A Definition of Love: What Is Love?

23.08.2012 | By: Alex F.

In this article, we attempt to find a suitable definition of love and clarify the understanding of love as fostered by our culture.

What does it mean to say “I love you”? The definition of love depends on the cultural environment of two particular lovers. (PhotoXpress)

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A definition of love: Love isn’t a biological programme

Although biological factors are certainly included in our experience of love, human emotions are not simple and instinctive responses to stimuli. Emotional responses of people who are in love greatly depend on their (self-)understanding (i.e. cognitive processes) and the social and cultural environment (e.g. system of values, social relations, rules on expressing emotions, conventional forms of behaviour) which communicates these forms of (self-)understanding.

Love is therefore above all a cultural phenomenon related to the processes of social learning. The actual experience of love is closely connected to what people "know" (believe) about emotions. Members of a certain culture acquire knowledge about love through the symbols of emotional culture, including scientific, religious and intellectual theories, informal expectations, proverbs, folk wisdom, legends, and so on.

The various segments of emotional culture define the nature, meaning, function and (in)appropriateness of emotional events and thus enable the learning of love and the interpretation of its signs. Our culture provides a basis for common expectations that all social agents develop with regard to their own experiences and the experiences of other people.

A definition of love through heirs of popular culture

Through meanings, vocabulary and norms that a culture develops, and by representing love through art, literature, pop music, films, ads and media, the culture somehow “builds” love and intimate relations and thus directs individuals towards particular thinking and ideas of love. Our culture determines us to experience emotions in a specific way by showing us what it means to love and be in love.

A definition of love: Is it spontaneous?

The great complexity of love was already understood by La Rochefoucault who suggested that love is always communicated through practices of a given culture. He claimed: “Few people would fall in love had they never heard of love.”

De Rougemont, the author of Love in the Western World, agrees with La Rouchefoucault - there may have been desires, instincts, tenderness, children, satisfaction and orgasms, but there was no love until it was expressed. Rhetoric is needed so that these emotions are transferred into human consciousness. When people gather information on specific emotions, they can orient themselves better in their environment.

A definition of love: Language plays a key role

Language is very much involved in the process of the cultural construction of love. Language makes sense of reality through the meanings it produces. As part of a culture (and there’s no culture without language), it forms and reflects the emotional life of people. Enriched vocabulary of emotions in a given culture indicates more extensive knowledge of emotions and the importance that the culture attributes to emotions in social life.

If there is a lack of language expressions of emotions in a culture, it is difficult to recognize, feel and respond to certain emotions.

A definition of love: The idea of love

In modern Western societies, mass media play an important role in forming our ideas and defintions of love. Mass media create ideals that become the image and form of our desires, dreams, fears and obsessions. They offer interpretative patterns with the help of which we play culturally expected roles and enter into love relationships.

The power of the modern technology and information culture is also evident in the influence it exerts on our conceptions of beauty or “objects” of desire. Beauty is distinctly standardized and increasingly avoids personal tendencies, says De Rougemont. He observes that the “freedom of passion” stems from advertizing statistics: a man who thinks he wants “his type of a woman” is in fact most intimately affected by the factors of fashion and trade.

Love is something we learn to experience

Construction of love is always a matter of society as well as an individual. An individual always interprets things in some unique way. But in general, it seems that love is something we learn - a skill, ability and feeling that we learn through norms and representations developed by our culture.