Do You Feel Trapped in Your Relationship?

29.12.2011 | By: T.B.

Is your partner insanely jealous and a control freak? Does he or she make irrational demands or limits you? Do you feel trapped in your relationship?

Don’t be a hostage. You don't have to feel trapped in a relationship. Fight for an equal position. (PhotoXpress)

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The purpose of a partnership is to build a solid and long-lasting relationship. But extreme jealousy and control are signs of distrust and are a destructive element in a relationship. In most cases partners feel trapped in such relationships and they end because there is no room for compromises, which are a part of every successful relationship. There’s no easy solution to this problem. The first thing you need to do is to set limits, then be consistent and sanction your partner if he/she fails to respect them.

Recognize the signs of extreme jealousy

Does your partner demand that you are together all the time and do you have to call several times a day just to let your partner know where you are? And does he or she accept the fact that you are sometimes busy or unavailable? Does your partner have to know about every step you make and is madly jealous whenever you pay attention to someone else? Does he/she think you have too many friends? Do you have to make commitments you don’t want to and are your arguments totally ignored? Are your partner’s analyses of your relationship completely illogical and unacceptable? Is your partner clingy when you are in public and is extremely possessive? If this seems familiar to you then your partner is probably very jealous and you probably feel trapped in your relationship, don't you? But if you want to solve the problem it is important that you understand the reasons for your partner’s behavior. One of the most common reasons is lack of self-confidence. Help your partner achieve higher self-esteem and develop better social skills. Another two factors which are very damaging to relationships are depression and dissatisfaction.

It takes two to build a relationship

To make your relationship a success and not feel trapped you simply can not take opposing sides and you both have to agree where your relationship is heading. If your partner’s behavior suits you, then you probably feel you haven’t got any problems. But still, you should think about where the need for such control, or subordination, comes from. If your partner’s behavior bothers you, don’t hesitate, and start making changes in your relationship. We hope that you realize that checking in every 5 minutes doesn’t resemble a loving trustful relationship – in fact it’s more like a hostage-kidnapper situation.

What if you are the one who’s too clingy?

Does your partner often complain that you cling to them excessively? Did you hear it from previous partners too and maybe your relationships even ended because of it? Then maybe you are the problem. If your behavior is driving partners away, you should really think about your actions. Of course, being in a relationship means you commit to another person but a relationship needs to breathe and each partner needs some time alone. Otherwise they feel trapped in a relationship. Your partner doesn’t always have to come first- spend some time with your friends and family. It is natural that a partner is the center of your attention at the beginning of your relationship, but focusing on only one thing isn’t good. Broaden your social boundaries and don’t depend too much on your partner. Make sure that you have other things in your life that fulfill you. If you think you are falling into the old patterns again, find a new hobby or spend one day a week with your friends. By clinging to your partner you show that they have complete control over your life. A certain amount of independence in a partnership shows an attractive self-confidence.