How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?

25.10.2012 | By: T. B.

How important is sex to a serious relationship? Can intercourse destroy it, or save it?

 

 

how important is sex

Mismatch in sex is a good ground for breaking up. (PhotoXpress)

 

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All of a sudden it was heard everywhere: “They separated because she was frigid” or “They broke up because he didn't satisfy her in bed” ... At first, I thought that the whole world went crazy and that everybody was obsessed with sex, as though all other values disappeared. It just seemed absurd to break off a relationship because of sexual intercourse.

After listening to the individuals' stories, I've changed my mind about people going crazy, and I've come to the conclusion that a mismatch in sex or lack of sex life is a perfectly valid reason for ending a relationship.

Staying in a relationship because of good sex

If sex is very good, people are prepared to stay in bad relationships that don't fulfil them. If sex is bad, people won't bother to stay in a relationship regardless of how promising it is in other respects. The values that come to the forefront if sexual intercourse is satisfying, are respect, encouragement in reaching life goals and similar attitudes. Sexual intercourse is the common denominator of everything else. Sometimes it seems that people lose the ability to talk to their partner if they aren't satisfied in bed. How to talk to them if you aren't relaxed, and how to have sexual intercourse if there's no proper communication? This Gordian knot is veryifficult to cut.

Breaking up because of bad sex

Often the problem isn't the lack of sex, but the sex life people believe they should have. We break off relationships because they don't meet the expectations we've formed under the influence of our social and cultural environment. However, the media and the messages they send us (the dreams they sell) are not to blame for everything bad we see happening to us. Ultimately, we're responsible for how we respond to the images and stories in the media, and what we do with our lives.

Staying in a relationship in spite of bad sex

Mothers used to say to their daughters: “As long as he doesn't beat you, and as long as he isn't a drunkard and has a job, stay with him,” and to their sons they would say: “If she's a good housekeeper and a loving mother, she's the one.” What's the message of the world today? Neither the first nor the second message seem to be the best, I agree. But is it healthy and generally advisable to focus on only one component of a relationship? Reducing something as rich and complex as a love relationship to one common denominator seems ridiculous. But is it, really? Well, it isn't to those who are in a relationship that suffers from bad sex.

Sex is increasingly more important for a good relationship

The loss of sexual attraction and cheating as a result of unsatisfactory sex life in a relationship are increasingly one of the most common reasons for divorce or break up regardless of how fulfilling the relationship may be otherwise.

 

Read more about sex and sexuality in our Lover's Guide.

 

 



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