How to Avoid a Conflict during Sex?

24.03.2011 | By: Isabela M

Sometimes one itsy bitsy thing can cause a conflict during sex and turn a passionate intercourse into a nightmare. Be careful and avoid a conflict during sex.

Conflicts before, during or after sex are often caused by different expectations. (PhotoXpress)

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Conflict during sex: He wants it wild, she wants it gentle

Sometimes she just wants to be taken without questions and banged rough, hard, and wild. Sometimes she wants for him to rip her clothes off and treat her like a mere sex object, but he’s too busy to notice that she’s ready and willing. And sometimes he wants to screw her like a barbarian, but she’d just like to be taken romantically and gently. And another day he wants to take from behind, while she just wants to have some nice relaxing oral sex. Partners sometimes have different expectations in bed. On a bad day, this can get ugly if they fail to agree on what they’re doing in bed. The worst that can happen is a huge conflict during sex, ending with one of the partners leaving the bedroom altogether. When your partner expects something different than what was on your mind, don’t hold that against them and be patient. You don't want to cause a conflict during sex, do you? If your partner doesn’t feel like going at it wild and untamed, but just wants to do it gently, don’t get upset over it. Find a compromise instead.

Conflict during sex: The orgasm

You know the story. She’s disappointed because he finished too soon, and he's disappointed with himself. In this situation, a conflict after sex might be unavoidable. In truth, that’s not even that big of a problem. It happens. But gentlemen, don’t let leave your partner unsatisfied. A conflict during or after sex can be avoided easily, if you put some effort into making her come too. Instead of leaving her “out to dry”, get your tongue, your fingers, or a sex toy, and make her happy. Ladies, if you have an understanding partner, there’s no need to get angry. Instead of keeping to your side of the bed and maybe provoking a conflict after sex, turn around and give him a look that he won’t be able to resist. Convince him to do something for your pleasure too. Tell him what you'd like and he’ll surely be prepared to sacrifice a few extra minutes to please you.

The male and female libido chart. (Source: http://geniusbeauty.com/)

Conflict during sex: 'Slut'

Hot sex can turn into a cold shower if either of you blurt out words that the other could misunderstand. When we’re consumed by lust, we can’t control what we’re saying. Our brains are switched off and the passion can make us say some nasty, dirty things. Some men give their partners saucy nicknames, but a conflict can arise during sex if she takes those nicknames the wrong way. The most common saucy nicknames are “slut” and “bitch”. They aren’t meant as insults, but can be understood as such all too quickly. Women who’re game for kinky stuff will get even hornier when they’re spurred on by dirty talk. But others can be appalled by it. Misunderstandings concerning dirty talk trigger a conflict during sex quite often. Especially, when a couple’s not that familiar with each other yet. If you don’t like dirty talk and find such words insulting, talk to your partner before they surprise you with it during sex. If your partner's talking dirty often and you don’t like it, then be frank and tell them that.

Conflict during sex: And then a lover comes along…

Now, let’s forget about those days when the partners aren‘t up for sex for a minute. And let’s also forget about the days when we’re bursting with desire, while he’s watching football or she wants to talk about your future instead of getting down to business. Now there’s some ground for a conflict before sex. Experts say that men are at their horniest between the ages of 17 and 25, while the female libido peaks around the age of 35. Many think that that’s the reason why women often get a younger lover when they reach a certain age. While they’re sexually blooming, their boyfriends or husbands don't want to have sex that much anymore. This often leads to a conflict because there’s no sex!

At around the same age, men frequently get a lover in their early twenties too because they get along better in the boudoir. So, to prevent unnecessary conflicts regarding sex and heavy resentment after, just tell each other what’s on your mind. Talking openly with each other will definitely keep a “third person” out of your mutual sex life.