Is It True That Opposites Attract?

Are opposites the driving force of a relationship? Can they overcome their differences? How many relationships are based on opposites?

 

 

The claim ‘opposites attract’ sounds very familiar to everyone, but another question is how many people actually live like that. (Photoxpress)

 

Folk wisdom says that ''opposites attract''

Folk wisdom summarized the experience – that research has confirmed – in a short sentence: “Opposites attract.” It seems that mutual attraction between partners with different characteristics is related to tendencies of an individual that seeks a partner and, at the same time, an instinct to preserve the species.

Everyone believes in something that could be called the “perfect image of a person.” Whatever they are missing, it seems to be particularly desired in another person and worth the love.

Nature plays an important role

It seems that nature wants to prevent increasing polarisation and incompatibility in the further genetic development with new combinations of opposites and essential structures. Thus, communication is possible because new combinations and circumstances are created. This leads to the situation where a species is not burdened by tension and polarisation, but an individual relationship suffers and has to pay its toll in the form of greater tension.

It used to be different

In the past, the concentration of opposites in relationships was smaller because people living in a society divided in classes and arranged in clear units married within the same social group. An individual married an equal and thus avoided any conflict. The more a society is mixed and combined, the greater and more versatile is the offer of opposites that attract one another like magnetic poles.

A dreamy and emotional person therefore seeks and finds a cool and moderate person; a chatterbox finds a silent partner; a person who’s an early riser finds someone who likes to sleep in;  and a sociable type finds a recluse.

Statistics supports the claim that ‘opposites attract’

Four fifths of all marriages are formed according to the principle of “opposites attract” and a fifth are formed according to the opposite rule, “beards of a feather flock together.” At first, this satisfies a quest for completion, but it causes conflict in the long run and always creates the feeling that your partner doesn’t understand you. If the partners don’t have common characteristics beside the opposite ones, it’s difficult for them to resolve or at least alleviate problems. There are three models in terms of opposite and common characteristics of partners: harmonious community, constructive contrast, destructive contrast.

A relationship with a lot of common factors is more solid and the partners have fewer disagreements. Such common factors are: origins and the social environment, age and education, profession and spare time interests, religion and political beliefs, acquired ways of coexistence in a relationship and, of course, innate and acquired personality traits. It’s simple: the more alike are the partners, the greater mutual approval and understanding they have. If you seek, you’ll also find, or it just happens?

Read more about successful relationships in our Lover's Guide.

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