Is It True That Opposites Attract?

Are opposite the driving force of a relationship? Can they overcome their differences? How many relationships are based on opposites?

 

 

The claim ‘opposites attract’ sounds very familiar to everyone, but it’s another question how many people actually live like that. (jlp)

 

Folk wisdom

Folk wisdom summarised the experience – that research has confirmed – in a short sentence: “Opposites attract.” Everything seems that mutual attraction between partners with different characteristics is related to tendencies of an individual that seeks a partner and, at the same time, an instinct to preserve the species.

 

Everyone carries in themselves something that could be called the “perfect image of a person.” Whatever they are missing, it seems to be particularly desired in another person and worth the love.

Nature plays an important role

It seems that nature wants to prevent increasing polarisation and incompatibility in the further development of genetic make-up with new combinations of opposite make-up and essential structures. Thus, communication is possible because new combinations of different make-up and circumstances are created. This leads to the situation where a species is unburdened of tension and polarisation, but an individual relationship suffers and has to pay its toll in the form of greater tension.



Seeking your significant half in fact means seeking the other half that completes you. (jlp)

It used to be different

In the past, the concentration of opposites in relationships was smaller because people living in a society divided in classes and arranged in clear units married within the same social group. An individual married an equal and thus avoided any conflict. The more a society is mixed and combined, the greater and more versatile is the offer of opposites that attract one another like magnetic poles.

A dreamy and emotional person therefore seeks and finds a cool and moderate person; a chatterbox finds a silent partner; a person who’s an early riser finds someone who likes to sleep in;  and a sociable type finds a recluse.

Statistics supports the claim ‘opposites attract’

Four fifths of all marriages are entered into according to the principle of “opposites attract” and a fifth are entered into according to the opposite rule, “beards of a feather flock together.” At first, this satisfies a quest for completion, but it causes conflict in the long run and always creates the feeling that your partner doesn’t understand you. If the partners don’t have common characteristics beside the opposite ones, it’s difficult for them to resolve or at least alleviate problems. There are three models in terms of opposite and common characteristics of partners:

-    harmonious community

-    constructive contrast

-    destructive contrast.

The proportion between similarities and opposites is of key importance for a quality relationship. (jlp)


A relationship where there are a lot of common factors is more solid and the partners have fewer disagreements. Such common factors are: origins and the social environment, age and education, profession and spare time interests, religion and political beliefs, acquired ways of coexistence in a relationship and, of course, innate and acquired personality traits. It’s simple: the more alike are the partners, the greater mutual approval and understanding they have. If you seek, you’ll also find, or it just happens?

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