It's the End of the Relationship. What Now?

12.07.2012 | By: I. M.

It's the end of my relationship. What do I do now? If you are in the same boat, you should read on.

The end of the relationship you thought would last forever is a heavy blow. But it is not the end of the world! (PhotoXpress)

Join us on Facebook!

Relationships are different than they used to be

Our grandmothers and grandfathers chose a spouse for an entire life. Today, women often decide for a relationship that doesn't last long, but every break up is an emotional blow. The end of the relationship usually represents a huge change in one's life, where one has to give up cuddling, kissing, caressing and showing devotion to a person whom we once loved. Although each break up brings some regret, sadness, even despair and anger, it's best to extract something good from a past relationship and courageously decide to move on.

What to do after the end of the relationship?

It certainly isn't easy to suddenly find yourself single after the end of the relationship that went on for several years. People who see a break up as a relief and deliverance from stress and tensions are hard to find. There are many more people who feel sad and who shut themselves away for a time. In such moments, try to busy yourself, and try to make your thoughts drift away from sadness and pain. Rearrange your home, clear everything up and put away your ex's things - everything that could remind you of him or her. Do whatever you like to do, and spend a lot of time with your friends. Have a laugh with them and go to the movies or dancing. Now you have more time for yourself and your hobbies. Enjoy some soothing, relaxing music, watch your favourite sitcoms...

If you have kids, pay attention to them, especially as they are emotionally involved in your break up too. If your ex-partner happens to be their parent, you should never express your negative emotions when talking about him or her with your children - in other words, never put your ex down in front of them or describe him or her in humiliating terms.

Should you jump into a new relationship?

Everyone experiences the process of getting over a break up a bit differently. It's necessary for you to find what helps you best. Usually, women withdraw socially and sexually after the end of the relationship, because they want to get some physical and psychological rest. While many people don't have sexual intercourse at the time of recovering from a breakup, others drown their sorrows in sex and thus forget about their sadness for a short while at least.

After a period of sexual abstinence, when the time of recovering is over for the most part, there comes a new wave of sexual desire, which is followed by getting to know new people. Least tolerable are then the attempts of our friends and acquaintances to get us together with other single people. However, in spite of their good intentions, we advise you to take as much time as you need to get over a break up for good. If that may be a year or more, let it be a year or more. Only when you're no longer emotionally vulnerable, you're ready to enter a new relationship.

What are the signs that you got over your ex?

-    you don't feel emotionally attached to him or her any more
-    you don't feel dependent on them
-    you are sober enough to see the pitfalls of the past relationship
-    you don't miss their physical intimacy any more
-    you don't even think of them for days on end
-    you make jokes on their account

Looking for a new partner

As regards seeking a new partner, there's only one golden rule. Don't do it until you're completely ready for the ups and downs of meeting new people and dating once again. With years, it's harder and harder to find an appropriate partner, so if you have children, don't move from one partner to another constantly, as your kids will get a feeling that people are forever walking out of their lives.

Moreover, keep in mind that sexual intercourse doesn't automatically mean a relationship. And before things develop into a serious relationship, make sure that you have similar interests, ambitions, life goals and expectations. Also, don't enter new relationships feeling pessimistic, desperate or nervous. Don't hurry to get into a serious relationship, as love comes when you least expect it.