Learn How to Resolve Conflicts Successfully!

Arguing can bring you closer or needlessly tear you apart.

 

 

Conflicts become a lot less stressful once we learn how to resolve them. (PhotoXpress)

 

Join us on Facebook!

 

Arguments are a part of every couple’s relationship, no matter how much you respect or love each other. We all come across a difference of opinion or an altercation every now and then. It’s difficult to unlearn the bad patterns of resolving conflicts, as they’re so much a part of us we’re not even aware of them. Too often an argument is just an excuse to act childishly and irrationally. Stubborn silence or striking back and insisting that we are right are the most common and at the same time the least effective patterns we adopt when things don’t go our way. Once we learn how to resolve conflicts successfully, they’re a lot less stressful.

Silence is golden

Proverbs have been there for along time and there’s often a grain of truth in them, but not in every situation. Sometimes you need to look at the situation in hand from a different perspective. When we hit a wall, we wrap ourselves in silence which can last for days. In this way, we are putting our partner’s love and devotion to the test. If he/she responds, then they care, if he/she ignores the silence we feel that their love is questionable. By keeping silent, we want to show how much we’re hurting and demand all of our partner’s attention. In truth, silence creates an even deeper rift between you. By ignoring our partners and denying them the attention that is due to them, we are causing harm not only to our partner but to ourselves and our relationship. An honest conversation is a far better alternative for solving conflicts than a sulking silence. It’s true that sometimes, we hurt so much that silence is all we can manage. But you shouldn’t make a habit out of it or let it become the normal way of communicating and you should never ever use it as a means to get what you want.

An eye for an eye

When we’re hurt our first impulse is to strike back. Our anger can sometimes be constructive and we even manage to curb our partner’s anger. But most of the time the conflict, the arguing and name-calling just heats up instead. Think about how many times you’ve managed to resolve a conflict in this way and how many times it escalated. Again we have a situation where each partner is trying to pull the wagon in a different direction and neither is prepared to give way. Usually this means that they both lose out in the end. Being honest is a thousand times better then accusations and name-calling. Instead, talk about why you’re angry and hurt, but wait until you’ve both taken ten deep breaths and have managed to calm down a bit.

 

Read more about sex and sexuality in our Lover's Guide.

 

 

---