Do You Feel Tempted by Swinging?

1.08.2012 | By: Alex F.

Swinging or swapping a sexual partner while your regular one is somewhere near is a fantasy of many people.

Swinging can help strengthen the bond in your current relationship, or can help destroy it. (PhotoXpress)

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A couple can try swinging just to find out where they are in the relationship. In case your relationship has meant only irregular touching and getting naked, there’s a big chance that you’ll get tired of each other and end the relationship after a few attempts at swinging. If you’re in a serious, long-term relationship and want to continue in that direction, then the matter is a bit more complicated.

Two types of swinging

For a start, let me mention that in general swinging stands for the so-called ”Soft Swing”, which offers penetration with no one else except your partner. Individuals that decide on this approach are usually happy just to have other people in the room and feel great in the role of a voyeur. Still, the list of possibilities in “Soft Swing” is a bit longer. You can hope to be touched by others, masturbate in front of others or can even have oral intercourse.

Being relaxed is important in sex, even more so if you swing. There’s no room for doubt or moral issues. The only criterion must be pleasure.

The other type is ”Hardened Swing” (emotionless, cold-blooded ...), which the people who swing usually talk about negatively and with which they don’t want to be associated. This type of swinging is more appropriate for people who have been on the scene longer, those who “eat and breathe” swinging and for whom swinging is primarily their way of life. Perhaps this label was made up by “soft swingers” who’re a bit uncomfortable with what they’re doing.

The test of maturity before you decide to become a swinger

You have to talk honestly about your sexual fantasies with your partner. The formula for successful swinging is the 3C rule (“communication, communication, communication”). It’s also necessary to analyse the stability of the relationship and assess the level of commitment. That’s the only way to be able to predict whether you’d find it uncomfortable or even demeaning if your partner slept with someone else. It’s often better to stay in the fantasy world. Our fantasy offers us everything we think we want to experience.

You have to ask yourself why are you tempted by swinging: is it because you want to significantly improve your sex life or is it because you want to upgrade it to the next level? In case you want to improve it, you’re basically unsatisfied with what you have, while in case of upgrading, you want to share your already great sexual life with someone else. The difference in approach is obvious.

But let's move back to the question of serious relationships and swinging ... Watching pornography together with your partner is supposedly a sign that you two are potential swingers. I recommend that you strike while the iron’s hot.