»He Wants Me to Play with His Butt!«

20.10.2010 | By: I. M.

Would you like to overcome inhibitions of giving anal stimulation? Learn how to do it...

Some men like it if you stimulate their butt... (Photoxpress)

Why does he want anal stimulation in the first place?

You should realize that it is much harder for men to express a desire for anal stimulation than it is for you to accept it. When your partner shares such an intimate desire with you, your reaction shouldn't be that of disgust or indignation, even though you might not be used to such sexual practices. In case you have experienced the pleasure of anal stimulation in the past, you should be able to understand his wish. Many women think that a wish for anal stimulation is linked to submission and homosexuality, which awakens a lot of other question about his sexuality as well. Worrying and feeling that your partner is acting like a stranger and that he's not satisfied with your sexual performance is completely unnecessary. It's actually the other way around. Because he is satisfied with you in bed, he feels he can share all of his fantasies with you and that's why he brought up the subject of anal stimulation. So, the first step to fulfilling his fantasy is to get rid of unnecessary thoughts and understand that everything is fine.

His desire offers you the chance to clear things up in your head

If his desire for anal stimulation gives you unpleasant feelings because he would be in a subordinate position, you should ask yourself why it presents a problem for you. Maybe you are worried if a subordinate man can give you enough safety outside of the bedroom? Maybe you have reservations about your dominant role? If his wish for anal stimulation still gives you an unpleasant feeling and you feel there's no way you could enjoy it, then you don't have to do it. In case you are open-minded enough to at least try and enjoy doing it, then it is perfectly fine to admit to your partner that it doesn't excite you and brings you no pleasure whatsoever. The whole point of a relationship, sexual as well as love relationship, is in compromises. It is important to share your feelings about giving anal stimulation and then it is up to him to decide how to act.

You have decided to give it a try

If you decide that you will fulfill your partner's fantasy then you should first ask him what exactly does he want. If he only wants gentle stimulation and penetration with a finger, then you can start by teasing and stroking his anus on the outside. When you feel that he is aroused and relaxed enough you can try to slowly and carefully penetrate him, first with shallow thrusts and then go a bit deeper. You should definitely use a lubricant, especially in case he wants penetration with a vibrator or a strap-on. Here you dominant role comes into play and you should be only as serious, rough and dominant as he wants you to be. For a less intense penetration you can also use butt plugs, which come in different shapes and sizes. Options are numerous and maybe you will also realize that you had too many inhibitions.