Let Go of 4 Great 'Sexpectations’!

18.08.2010 | By: I. M.

People often have great expectations when it comes to sexual intercourse - sexpectations. That’s when things usually go wrong.

Sometimes great ‘sexpectations’ can bring great disappointment. (jlp)

1. Sexpectation: First time

Whether it is oral, vaginal or anal intercourse, a massage of the partner or masturbation, each person experiences first sexual encounter in their own way. But the common thing about first sexual intercourse is that there are certain sexpectations which are often mixed with longing and create uncomfortable pressure. Just like any other sexual intercourse, the first one also depends on the persons involved, but the greatest sexpectations are followed by a small disappointment after first intercourse because it really wasn’t all we imagined it to be. It is common knowledge that people usually feel the first time was nothing special, or that it was contrary to their sexpectations. However, a recent survey in Japan showed that 73 percent of women don’t regret their first sexual experience and would not do it any differently.

2. Sexpectation: Fantasizing about a certain person

People can be lured into great sexpectations by false ideas about a certain person. Many imagine the sexual behaviour of a certain person based solely on the person’s other characteristics, like the way a person walks, body language or unreserved manner of talking about sexuality. Women thus create an image of the perfect lover in their heads and imagine what would a one-night stand look like. Men fantasise about their sexy neighbour only because of her long legs. All these notions create a sexual desire for a certain person, but when these notions turn into real actions, the story becomes completely different. Due to these great sexpectations, disappointment occurs because our great notions are disrupted by unexpected things like premature ejaculation, lack of an erection and unsatisfying or tedious sexual intercourse.

3. Sexpectation: Visiting a prostitute

Even though many people believe that money is a guarantee for quality, this is definitely not the case. It’s true that every prostitute has a wide variety of sexual services, but with most the service is modest and too expensive. So when a man goes to a prostitute, his great sexpectations will mostly be disappointed. Men usually find out that their girlfriends and wives look better than the prostitutes. Disappointment is also present when it comes to the offer, which is usually ‘standard’. The list rarely includes extravagant practices like anal intercourse, quality and committed oral intercourse, domination or a golden shower.

4. Sexpectation: One-night stands

The trick of one-night stands is in the charge of sexual energy, which is looking for a way to bring you gratification with any person. This great amount of sexual desire is the reason why you shouldn’t expect anything else from a one-night stand than an orgasm. The intercourse itself isn’t important, neither is the person. The only thing that matters is the big O because it's all about sexual relaxation and finding quick gratification. A one-night stand can be passionate, explosive and positive, but these adventures and such lovers are most often a disappointment and not knowing a person proves to be more of a disadvantage than an advantage. All the tension and expectations often cause premature ejaculation or a soft penis. Besides sexual needs, some emotions can also be released unexpectedly, especially if you have a one-night stand with a person getting over the ex or with a person with a bad case of PMS.