Loosing your sex drive and desire

Do you suddenly have no desire for sex anymore? You’re not the first or the last. See what the possible reasons are and how to solve the problem.

If two partners aren’t communicating well enough, this can soon be exhibited between the sheets as well. (jlp)

The basic reasons for losing your sex drive

-         Nowadays, due to a fast pace of life, the fight for survival and the competition for the most profit, it can soon happen that you become too busy and you often simply forget about sex. You’re just so tired at the end of the day that you can think of nothing else to do in your bed but sleep.

-        A stressful lifestyle naturally takes away the desire for sex. Instead of destroying stress with sex, stress literally kills your sexual desire.

-         If, besides feeling stressed, you are depressed and the doctor prescribes some pills, the chances for sex are even smaller. Antidepressants are known for their side effects, including a reduced libido and a reduced desire for making love.

-         If your partner insults you too much during a bout of anger or an argument because he forgets the words he uses, there’s a great chance you’ll hold it against him and that you won’t want to have sex exactly because of this, especially if he criticizes your body or says something which really hurts you.

-         Boredom and repeating one and the same sexual positions and practices are also sex killers. If you’ve become lazy in bed, you can become stuck in a rut quickly and this will undoubtedly ruin your passion.

-         If the woman isn’t experiencing orgasms, sex can become pointless and egotistical to her, which means that she doesn’t want it anymore because she’s convinced that the partner isn’t trying hard enough any longer and it’s best that she takes care of herself.

-         Even our grandparents used to say that all the hostilities and truthfulness in a relationship show up in bed as well. If you’re having problems outside the bed, you’ll undoubtedly feel difficulties between the sheets as well.

-         Through the years we come to realize that sex has become a routine and that you don’t find your partner as attractive as in the past. This can be very dangerous, especially if only one of the partners neglects him or herself.

 

A stressful lifestyle and more and more large bills to pay literally kill the desire for sex. (jlp)

Women lose interest in sex with their partner sooner than men

Men supposedly think about sex 24 hours a day, which means that the desire for sexuality with their partner doesn’t become greatly reduced over the years. Women are different – it often happens that they experience a drop in their sex drive and they’d much rather be doing something else than have relations, like watch television, eat chocolate and chat with their friends. The Internet sexual expert Anka, who is giving advice on the renowned portal Redbook, is advising yoga and exercise, with which women release the stress and tension in their bodies. According to her, a sexy massage of your body is also very handy. It naturally has to be done by the partner with commitment and love, also to awaken a woman’s dormant erogenous zones and to show her again how attractive he finds her. The massage will also be very exciting for him because he’ll be rubbing oil or cream all over her naked body. Or as Anka puts it: “Men are always thinking about their penises, so we should do the same and direct our thoughts down there. Try it. It will shift your thoughts to sex.”

If you’re neat and sexy and if you also focus on your vagina, the desire for sex might return. (jlp)

Communication is very important as well

Like we said before, if there are problems outside the bed, this will be reflected between the sheets. That’s why it’s important to communicate a lot, talk and honestly admit what’s bothering you and what you’d like to change. Good communication is a condition for good intercourse. But just good sex isn’t a condition for a good relationship. Or as Anka puts it: “I'm always amazed when people are too embarrassed to talk to the person they are having sex with. If you're bored with his sexual techniques (or lack of them), you have to take charge and go out of your comfort zone. Use a different position, do it in a different room or at a different time, or go to a "nice" sex store (like Babeland or Good Vibrations) together and see what new stuff they have that might interest you. (it's always revealing to find out what you like).”