Solutions to Your Sexual Problems

Does your partner dislike pornography? Does she dislike having the light on during sexual intercourse? Check out what to do.

Sexual problem #1: I miss anal intercourse

I live with a woman who’s an excellent lover except for one insignificant detail: she refuses to have anal intercourse. What can I do?

If it’s truly an insignificant detail, as you say, forget about it! But if this idea starts obsessing you, put yourself in her shoes and think about things more objectively. Perhaps you decided too hastily? Be more patient. Take the opportunity and try to persuade her to have anal intercourse. It’s possible that later she will agree that you insert your finger into her anus (if possible, do that during sexual intercourse), and she might eventually like it. However, don’t forget the most important thing: you both have to enjoy every sexual intercourse. If you don’t enjoy it, you shouldn’t repeat certain elements of it.

Sexual problem #2: She’s afraid of light

My wife doesn’t want to leave the light on while we make love. How can I persuade her to leave it on?

I presume that she’s very young and shy and probably insecure when she makes love to you. You don’t have to start foreplay on the bed. Caress her and tell her to caress you, for instance, while watching the television. It’s up to you to encourage her. Tell her that she’s doing very well and that you like watching her when she’s doing it. You will see that soon she’ll agree that you leave the light on in the room, while you make love.

Sexual problem #3: He calls me dirty names during intercourse

Every time we make love, my husband utters vulgar words and calls me a whore, bitch and similar. I don’t like it! How can I stop him?

Don’t worry. Many men are prone to that; that’s how they “unburden” themselves. Your husband’s behavior doesn’t mean that he no longer loves and respects you. Pay no attention to that, or even better, play along and laughingly say to him that he’s dirty, a pig and similar nasty words, which will only pour oil on the fire in such moments. But if you can’t do that, we advise you to simply tell him that this kind of talk doesn’t suit you and that he should refrain from uttering such words. As a relationship depends on compromises, suggest him that you will choose a few less vulgar words that you can handle and occasionally also encourage him with one of them. Who knows, maybe you will start to like it.

Sexual problem #4: What does he see in porn magazines?

My husband secretly reads porn magazines. I find these pictures repulsive and I truly don’t understand what he sees in those magazines.

Your husband is just like most men and you’re just like most women. A lovemaking scene is arousing for a man if he sees it in a magazine as well as in his bed, whereas women find the romantic side of love more important. When you see a pornographic picture, you think that you’re less attractive and sexy and that certain positions and movements are humiliating.

Don’t worry as regards the first thought. Your husband doesn’t draw comparisons when he watches pornographic movies and he likes you just the way you are. As regards the other issue, you have to tell yourself that no position or movement is humiliating if partners truly love each other. Try to see it through his eyes.

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