Speaking Before, During and After Intercourse Is "Out"

9.04.2010 | By: T. P.

Intercourse can be excellent or bad, but in both cases we can do a lot of damage with silly comments, particularly after intercourse. Read why silence is golden.

Turn the television and radio off and tune out your thoughts. The room should be filled only with the sounds of intercourse. (PhotoXpress)

Talking during foreplay

Usually, women like to see that a man knows what he’s doing, that he doesn’t ask how to unhook a bra, undo a belt and stuff like that. When taking her clothes off, do this without any unnecessary words or comments. Any comment is a double-edged sword. If you say nothing, it can’t be stupid. What sounds normal in a porn movie really isn’t appropriate for any woman with a shred of self-respect. “Your boobs are sensational...” or “This is the best looking cunt I’ve ever seen!” Such statements can be great only in very specific situations with very few women. If a woman notices you’re assessing her body like a piece of meat on display, then all her joy and respect for you will vanish. Keep your thoughts to yourself and only caress her. If you have images from the novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being in your head, where Tomas always commands: “Take your clothes off!”, then those thoughts should remain where they are. If you already know your partner, everything’s possible, but don’t try it the first time round. Novels and erotic stories happen in a world of their own.

If she knocks you down, don’t start drivelling on. (PhotoXpress)

Talking during intercourse

During intercourse, two extremes are very bothersome. One is total silence, without moaning, breathing – sex without any sound. The other extreme is commenting on every move and action. “I’m going to push it in now, yes. How do you like that? Lean forward a bit. That’s right. Spread your legs a bit. Man, I’m horny...” Sex is about action and not drivelling on. “Talking dirty” is something completely different, but we won’t be talking about it here. I don’t know if any woman really enjoys feeling like she’s at a football match, where the commentator comments on the players’ every move. Even the question “Does that feel good?” should be asked at the right moments, not too often and only when we’re trying out something new. But don’t ask this question if you don’t care. She can feel that. Talking is a purely mental activity and it doesn’t belong in sex simply because of that. The process of two bodies surrendering to one another has nothing to do with such a mental process. Words destroy intimacy and the feeling of connection that two bodies can establish. If we want to really surrender to our partner during intercourse, then we have to keep quiet or let our body do the talking.

Talking after intercourse

First, we naturally think of the most common question: “Did you come?” If you don’t know, you shouldn’t ask. If you ask: “Did you come twice or three times?”, then be really convinced in what you’re saying. Another, even more stupid question is: “Was I good?” Even if you were, you’re still an insecure child a woman will find hard to love. You’re a good lover if you enjoy sex and if you focus on your partner during the act. If you only remember her at the end of intercourse and want to find out how it was for her only because of your ego, then you’re not only a bad lover, but a bad person as well. It’s not forbidden to compliment her, of course in a cute and gentle way. “You really are one fine bitch!” or “You fuck like a professional!” really aren’t the best lines. Compliment her passion and fire, her enthusiasm and warmth. Don’t compare her to others. Describe how you felt during intercourse. If you’re not a good liar and if sex wasn’t good, it’s best to keep your mouth shut. Next time, try to motivate her and kindle her lust with your body and passion. If even this doesn’t work, then you can mention what you want at some point, but never criticize her after intercourse.

“I really like it when you take charge.” Encourage her like this and the results will be evident. Don’t be negative: “Why are you lying there like a piece of wood?” Instead, stress the things you already like. The results will be amazing.