What to Do If She’s Faking Her Moaning?

15.03.2010 | By: T. B.

How should you react when you find out her moaning in bed is fake and that her orgasm may not be a real one?

Some women try to increase the intimacy in a partnership by faking orgasm. (jlp)

Reasons for faking an orgasm

First of all, "her moaning", acted out for the sake of the partner, can also be "his moaning". Orgasms are faked by both men and women, despite the fact that we mostly talk about women. Women fake orgasm to please him when they’re tired or because sexual intercourse is painful due to the fact it isn’t good. Do you think that the male reasons for faking it are different? Not really – as being tired and the desire for it to end are their main reasons.

More intimacy by faking an orgasm?

Both sexes believe that they’re increasing the intimacy in intercourse by faking orgasm. Therefore, intimacy seems more important than an orgasm. But some don’t understand how people can be intimate with their partners if they lie to them. Are you always going to be suspicious when you hear her moaning?

Don’t make a fuss when you find out her moaning is fake. (jlp)

How can you help your partner?

Everyone’s goal is to reach orgasm and for their partners to have one as well. When they discover that their partners were faking orgasm, they take it upon themselves to get them to an orgasm. This often makes the situation worse. The pressure on the partner often comes out as a fuss, even though we just want to express our concerns. Why? To get a confirmation that you're a good lover. Instead, you should focus on what the partner really likes - orgasm will then come on its own, eventually. Her moaning will be real. Your goal shouldn’t be an orgasm, but mutual and joined - your and your partner's - pleasure. Orgasms will happen without you having to worry about them. And even if they don’t – no harm done. Worse than your partner not having orgasm is you worrying about it, which could pull you even further apart.

Intimacy and pleasure are possible also without an orgasm. (jlp)

Pleasure and orgasm can be two separate things

Even though orgasms are welcome, there’s a danger of us thinking too highly of them. Sexual pleasure and giving yourself to another person are very important in themselves, and it’s not very productive and helpful to assume that pleasure and orgasm are one and the same thing. That's absolutely not the case. Orgasm is a form of pleasure, but pleasure is also possible without reaching orgasm. Divorces are far more often a result of a lack of emotional pleasure than a lack of orgasms.