What to Do When Intercourse Isn’t What It’s Supposed to Be?

16.04.2010 | By: T. P.

Men like to be good lovers. Sometimes it happens that we don’t succeed, so we give you some advice on how to react and, most of all, stay calm. Sometimes you just can’t do it.

 


Some men have become so concerned with the female orgasm that the lack of self-confidence disables them from reaching that orgasmic goal. (PhotoXpress)

Some men have become so concerned with the female orgasm that the lack of self-confidence disables them from reaching that orgasmic goal. (PhotoXpress)

"She didn’t come!"

For whatever reasons, human sexuality has been turned on its head. From total male dominance and egotism in sexuality, we turned everything on its head and started worshipping the female orgasm. Whoever can’t make an orgasm happen for his partner is considered a bad lover. In the past, nobody used to worry about it. But most men nowadays want to satisfy their partner and make an orgasm happen for her. This is a noble goal, but we place too much importance on it. Female sexuality can’t be dependent only on the knowledge of the man. Sometimes it’s just not working and the man is rarely to blame. Maybe women won’t agree, but the female orgasm is something  only a woman can make happen and she has to work for it herself. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. She doesn’t come, we come too soon, she feels pain, she can’t relax just before an orgasm or she has to pee. Don’t make a mistake here by starting to blame yourself. Men make ourselves available and try to enjoy intercourse the best we can. I think that any greater expectation is unrealistic and unjustified. We mustn’t allow the fact that we didn’t satisfy her to put a dent in our ego. We don’t have to do anything. We don’t have to supply orgasms to women because we support their dependency on men with that, but not many feminists notice this.

 


Sometimes we can’t do anything right, so it’s best to just relax and not get nervous. (PhotoXpress)

Sometimes we can’t do anything right, so it’s best to just relax and not get nervous. (PhotoXpress)

"I didn’t come!"


Sometimes this happens as well. We have sex, enjoy ourselves, everything takes a bit too long and there’s not enough energy left for an orgasm in the end. Many men would rather rub the skin off their penis than let their partners see they didn’t come because that would mean they’re not men anymore. Some men demand all sorts of mischief from their partner and the torture of the penis ends with a weak orgasm and muscle spasms for the people involved. You really don’t need this and if you feel a decrease in your desire, take it as a clear sign from your body that it doesn’t want to spend any more energy and that the sexual act is over. This is most often not even connected to the woman you have intercourse with. Sometimes alcohol or tiredness is to blame, or you just don’t feel like it. It’s also possible that you don’t find your partner attractive, but that’s usually not the reason. Our body is what it is and forcing an orgasm always brings a weak orgasm and some sort of frustration. Explain to your partner, with a smile on your face, that not much is going to happen today and joke at your expense. We don’t have to be sex machines, we’re only made out of flesh and blood and perhaps a soul is also in there. Don’t worry about how you look, about what she think, don’t be concerned with stereotypes. Just admit that it isn’t working and start doing something else, talk about your day, use the time for something useful and not for kneading meat. There will be plenty of orgasms in your life yet.


"Demanding" women can be very “demanding”. Sometimes they affect the sturdiness of our soldier as well. (PhotoXpress)

"Demanding" women can be very “demanding”. Sometimes they affect the sturdiness of our soldier as well. (PhotoXpress)

A bad day or not knowing your partner


Intercourse with a new partner is always great fun, but it can also be very ungrateful. Exactly when we want to do our best, we usually fail and don’t do anything like we planned. We all read all the advice in our Sexy advice column, we’re armed with knowledge and practice. We press, rub, knead, circle, lick, bite and no reaction from her. We remember to do it in some other sequence, so we rub, lick, massage, breathe, scream and exert ourselves, but again nothing .We ask her what she likes, she tells us, but it’s as if we had two left arms and held the female body in our arms for the first time. It just isn’t happening. If it’s not happening, it’s not!! It’s best to stop sooner or later. Look her in the eyes and admit the following thing with a smile on your face: Darling, here’s the thing. It’s not going to happen today, I just can’t do it. It’s not my day, the energy isn’t right, let’s watch a movie or go to bed. Don’t allow your reason to tell you you’re a loser, that you’re not a man, that a “real” man always gets the job done. Also, don’t let her get you down if she’s a bit more “demanding”. She should help herself, while every action you make would mean a loss of energy. Get up instead and mend something around the house. You’ll seem manlier, if that’s what you want at all costs. Don’t look to assign the blame and don’t accuse people. Take the situation as it is. When a man fails for the first time in his life, it’s quite a shock, but it’s best you get used to it and accept the fact that we’re only flesh and blood.

 



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