When Sex Isn’t What It Ought To Be ...

Sex can be the most beautiful thing in the world, but when can you do when it just isn't what it ought to be?

Sexual disturbances happen to half of women. (jlp)

 

If we’re talking about men, all sexual problems revolve around the penis, while female sexual troubles are exhibited in many forms and are more complex. About half of women suffer from one of sexual disturbances and the treatment is often more difficult than with men because several aspects have to be taken into consideration – we have to involve emotions as well as the physical aspect.

Women

 

10 orgasms in an hour

 

One of the female sexual disturbances is a constant feeling of arousal. They named the syndrome PSAS (Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome). This condition makes you constantly crave an orgasm, even when you’re not thinking about sex. When Jeannine Allen, founder of the website for women with PSAS, explained her problems to her gynaecologist, he only smiled and said that she was every man’s dream come true. It was his response that turned Jeannine away from doctors and she decided to look for help herself. She enriched her social life, spent a lot of time in nature and with her grandchildren and friends and gradually started forgetting about her problem and paid less and less attention to it. Because she was too embarrassed to talk about it with her husband, she divorced him. One day, she wanted to test her sexual limits and get to the heart of the matter, at least when it came to the number of orgasms that was enough for her. When she had ten of them in an hour, she stopped because she wanted more. Even though she’s aware she has to look for physical and not psychological reasons, she still hasn’t managed to make a diagnosis. Even the doctors haven’t managed that.

Living with a woman who’s constantly aroused can be difficult. (jlp)

'I only have sex because of my husband’s needs'

 

Women’s sexual problems can be exhibited in four areas: lust disturbances, pain during intercourse, arousal disturbances, and orgasm disturbances. The most common of all are pain during intercourse and problems with orgasm. A lot of women also complain about lust issues, namely that they don’t have the desire to have intercourse. Dr. Laura Berman, head of The Berman Center in Chicago, deals with these kinds of problems. The focus of her help is to improve sexual health. She looks at a woman as a whole and doesn’t only focus on physical symptoms. Dr. Berman says that her treatment involves women moving and exercising and not sitting still. The treatment deals with all aspects: the body, self-image, emotions and emotional history, health, confidence, and the relationship the woman is in. She also says that women with these problems often tell her they have sex only because of the husband’s needs, which is something Berman deems positive. In her opinion, it would be much worse to reject him and push him away.

It’s better to have intercourse because of his needs than push him away and make him feel rejected. (jlp)

Men

 

Erectile dysfunction

 

Often, the problem with men is erection, or keeping an erection going for a longer time. American sexologist, Dr. Ava Cadell, says that men only come to her when they’re almost desperate because they’re too embarrassed to get help. Bioenergetics expert Marta Hellisen has a different approach to getting rid of male erectile problems. She’s definitely not a supporter of Viagra because she says that it relieves the symptoms temporarily, but doesn’t deal with the root of the dysfunction. She teaches her patients to breathe correctly, to feel their bodies, to massage correctly and to perfectly relax. Their inability to have an erection means embarrassment, failure and disappointment to men. But when you’re dealing with a sexologist, the matter can be resolved and repaired quickly.

Men are extremely embarrassed to look for help when it comes to erectile dysfunction.

'I come too soon'

 

Dr. Eli Coleman, professor of human sexuality at the University of Minnesota, defines premature ejaculation as an ejaculation that happens in a minute or less of intercourse. The reason for that is the so-called hyperarousal. In such case, the man is aroused very quickly, feels this arousal very intensely and any additional stimulation to him causes a state where he can’t control his orgasm time-wise. If this happens often, the man can start feeling that he’s constantly disappointing his partner. For this kind of problem there are physical techniques to prolong the orgasm.

When a premature ejaculation happens, it is always followed by a feeling of letting your partner down. (jlp)

 

Sexual problems don’t affect only the person experiencing them but can jeopardize the entire relationship. When people want to get rid of these problems, they must first overcome such hurdles as embarrassment or fear. First, you have to get rid of the fears concerning the disturbance because some of them can cause the fear of intercourse. The biggest mistake couples make when there’s a problem is to blame their partner for poor sexual life. This never does any good. You have to work together, overcome the problems and improve the sexual life together because good intercourse has a positive effect on the immune system, the relationship, emotions and the quality of life itself.

 

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