Talk to your son about sexuality

Here are some reasons why you should talk to your son about sexuality. And how you should do it, of course…

 

 

Sexuality should not be a taboo in the family

 

Sex and everything sexually related is still considered a taboo subject in most families, despite the fact that media information on sexuality is easy to come by.  

 

Parents still think that it is enough if they say to their child:"Ah, you will have sexual intercourse. Use a condom …", but they do not realize that much more communication is needed. Especially if their child is about to have his/her first intimate experience and does not know much about ‘the birds and the bees’. Schools do not give enough emphasis on the subject and schoolchildren are not informed about all the aspects of sexuality.

 

Why is it that parents do not speak to their children about sexuality?

 

 
The reasons are many, parents are either shy and afraid to talk about it or lack the confidence to do it. Parents usually let their sons (they seem to have a special right) do what they want to until their girlfriend gets pregnant or they contract a sexually transmitted disease.

 

Boys can get the wrong impression

 

 

It is important to talk to young boys, they often do not know what is right and what is wrong or how they should behave according to the common human values. They have their own view on sexuality, depending on their social status and peer competition. These situations clearly demonstrate this:

- It is not wrong – it is admired – for the boys to compete with each other based on the number of sexual partners they had.

- It is deemed appropriate and a part of honour among their friends to do reckless things.

- Respecting girls as persons is not ‘cool’, at least not in the sense of admitting it among your friends or show your emotions in front of them.

 

It often happens that young boys want to get the maximum out of sexual intercourse, being their primary goal, with girls and pay no respect to their feelings.

 

Parents should hand down the following sex related moral standards to their sons

 

- When a girl says no, it means no.

- Conscience should be raised. It is immoral to have sex with a person, who is not in complete self control (e.g. alcohol and drugs make her incapable of reasonable judgement)

- Moments of intimacy ,related to sexual acts, should remain between the partners (it is inappropriate to brag)

- Sexual intercourse should be enjoyed with a clear head and, of course, a condom and a contraceptive.

- Girl’s body should not be an object of fun

 

 

Once again it must be stressed that the right kind of communication with the children is important, even though they tend not to listen to any advice during puberty. Subconsciously, they nevertheless adopt some moral rules

 

---