Do You Really Need Love for Sex?

15.05.2010 | By: S. S.

What kind of relationship provides the right type of love for sex?

Not everyone needs to love for sex to take place. (PhotoXpress)

You have to love for sex to be good

Love knows no boundaries. Most people therefore go through life wondering whether they will find love, or they will always seek it and find their pleasure in that. There is no connection between love and sex and thus love shouldn’t be considered a necessary pre-condition for good sex. Love is definitely one of the most important emotions, which makes people happy and unites them, as well as forms relationships. Love is the basis for a relationship, family life and marriage, and it affects the quality of sex! How?

Love doesn’t always lead to wild sex

I believe that the majority of human relations revolve around the number 7. So many types of love connect people as well as separate them. You know how the story goes. It suddenly happens that getting to know your potential partner means more to you than it does to your partner. There are complications. One of you gradually wants a more serious relationship, while the other is indecisive about it. The approach to sex depends on what you expect (short-term or long-term relationship) and what your partner expects (sex, sexual intercourse or lovemaking) and the degree to which you both share love for sex. Namely, these emotional degrees are closely intertwined.

You need to love for sex, not just like

The feeling of closeness, understanding, emotional support, affection, attachment and warmth are typical of this type of a relationship. These people usually don’t have sexual relations because they are unnecessary to provide pleasure. People who enter such a relationship don’t burden themselves with sex because they don’t consider it crucial for the quality of the relationship. Thus their intimacy is hidden.

Does love for sex matter without love for your partner?

Empty love only has the function of a commitment without passion and the real intimacy. It happens in long-term relationships where there is no longer any passion and intimacy present, as well as in arranged marriages. It probably doesn’t need to be pointed out that people in such a relationship don’t care much about sex. Unfortunately, this can happen if you consider your relationship as a state and not as a process and then even if you both share love for sex, it might not matter anymore.

You can't be too much in love for sex

This is often called “love at first sight” because you feel strong physical and sexual attraction. This type of love can last a very short time, or it can last a long time. Sex is full of passion; the game played by two bodies – a relentless and lascivious game, which will make you feel as if you were reborn and make your love for sex even stronger. However, you have to be careful because this type of love can be gone as quickly as it came.

Romantic love and love for sex

Mutual physical and emotional attraction is typical of this type of love, as well as the feeling of closeness and understanding. Intimacy and passion are highly emphasised. This however doesn’t represent the perfect love in combination with sex yet, but it sounds as the last stage in the process of maturing. If a comparison is made to wine, it would go something like this: “Young wine makes you drunk, but vintage wine absolutely intoxicates you.” Romantic love is the latter.

Joint love after the love for sex is gone

This type of love joins partners, especially in old age. It appears after a long-lasting intimacy. The dominant characteristics are devotion, fidelity, and affection which also lasts after the physical attraction is diminished by aging. A long-term marriage is an example of such love. Although sex happens rarely, the partners never feel down because of its absence. Their love for sex is a memory. A wonderful and fulfilled memory.

Knightly love doesn't focus on the love for sex

This is the love in the movies and in literary world. Do you still remember Romeo and Juliet? “Courtship” is a result of the physical and sexual attraction to which they commit without being very intimate. Although the relationship is often exceptionally passionate at the beginning, it lasts a short period of time. Instead of sex, the focus is on making love and gazing in each other’s eyes. Slow is already too quick...

Love for sex is only beaten by the perfect love...

… which is the one that doesn’t exist. Similar to the legend about a unicorn: Everybody knows about the legend, but nobody has ever seen a unicorn. People feel emotional, motivational (sexual and physical) and mental devotion at the same time. In such a relationship, love for sex usually grows rapidly and then fades, while intimacy and loyalty grow steadily, which gradually turns your love relationship into another type of a relationship.

I think that increasingly more people understand the fact that high-quality sex doesn’t exist or happen. Both partners have to work hard to realize the ideal and enjoy their sex life to a maximum. Clear and constant communication is crucial, as well as what pleases the partners, what they lack, their desires, and the connection between them in all key areas. A lot of effort is required, especially after the first crush and the first rush of passion fade. And if they show respect and love to each other in their relationship, they’re on the right track to have high-quality sex life. An emotional complication can decrease the quality and refine other areas of socializing at the same time. Sex isn’t always “golden”. It can represent the essence of a relationship, or it can be a supplement which doesn’t affect the relationship. Love and love for sex are thus two distinct things.