Do You Want to Have Sex More Often Than Your Partner?

18.10.2011 | By: S. J.

If your partner doesn't want to have intercourse as frequently as you do, you have to bravely face the challenge and ask yourself about the reasons.

Some people need a little more time to adapt to a new person in their life. (PhotoXpress)

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Are your expectations real?

If you have just entered into a new relationship and your emotions are still fresh, there's nothing to worry about if you realise that you and your partner have sex less frequently than you would like. Some people need a little more time to adapt to a new person in their life. By exploring each other's bodies slowly, you'll become more and more relaxed. In addition, "ideal" sex life cannot be measured by the number of sexual intercourses you have, but by the quality of these sexual intercourses.

Avoid negative thinking

Don't jump to the conclusion that the reason for the lack of your partner's sexual desire is somehow associated with their wish to leave you. If your lover's behaviour towards you hasn't changed in any other aspects, there must be another reason for their lack of sexual desire. Moreover, who says that there is a certain limit as regards sex that we have to reach every week and that unless we reach it, there must be something wrong with the relationship? People are different and it's also perfectly normal if you're very horny one month and less horny another. Sometimes the problem may be on the part of the person whose desire for sex is too strong.

Does your partner feel good with you?

Instead of being upset because there isn't enough sexual activity in your bed, show some empathy and care for your partner. Is he or she tired, depressed, under stress because of their job, or does she or he take any medications? All these factors may have a significant effect on our sexual desire. You should stand by your partner's side. By pressuring and forcing them into intercourse which they don't want to have, you'll be seen as selfish and as a result you'll exert an additional negative influence on your partner's behaviour.

Dealing with the situation

Talk to your partner but don't put any pressure on him or her. Your voice should be tender and calm. It's only without a single threat or complaint that you'll be able to establish why the current situation has occurred. With joint efforts and patience you'll be able to overcome the obstacles presented by your partner's lack of libido. You can always masturbate if you think that you don't have enough sex. Why not? Masturbation is a completely natural and legitimate practice that is good for you.

If things don't improve over time, you and your partner should consider a visit to a marriage councellor or a psychosexual therapist. Do you feel that your parter is unwilling to talk to you, does he or she seem cold towards you and does he or she resist consulting an expert? In this case, things don't look very promising. Try to get to the bottom of the matter and find out whether conversation with an expert disgusts your partner because they believe there's nothing wrong with them, or is it that their feelings for you have really changed.