Does It Make Any Sense to Abstain From Sex Before Marriage?

In strict Christian religion, sex before marriage is considered a sin. Others believe that sexual abstinence is a sin. So, who is right?

Sexual abstinence is good for you

Most people who laugh at such an idea, or simply reject it, believe that the argument is the following: “God says that you shouldn’t do it because it’s a sin!” However, religious people have developed a whole theory why in fact it good to practice sexual abstinence before marriage, irrespective of what God wants. A Christian upbringing has started emphasizing the negative consequences of sex in youth and before marriage. The emphasis is placed on the following starting points:

1. No protection against pregnancy is 100% effective
2. Sexually transmitted diseases
3. The negative effect on a person’s psyche

The first two assumptions are obvious. The argument for the third assumption is much more powerful. There are several negative influences. Sexual life is inseparably linked to mental processes. If people aren’t ready to have sexual relations, or have them with a wrong person, this might leave permanent consequences. It leads to poor self-image and a wrong (consumer) attitude towards the body. The other side is that sexual life is considered a supplement for a solid relationship and people believe that having sex too early hinders the development of the relationship that has the right basis, that is, respect, fidelity, trust, joint growth and similar. They also add the commitment to have a two-parent family. A couple can start having sex when they establish a solid relationship and can also take care of a child. Sex has a harmful effect on mental health if it isn’t associated with love and trust in a steady and solid relationship – this is the fundamental thesis of the Christian aspect of sex education.

Sexual abstinence is bad for you

The reply of the opposite side is very simple and is based on the following:  sex is part of person’s needs and if you don’t satisfy them, it has a harmful effect on mental health. Therefore, sexual abstinence is pointless, and additionally, it can also have negative consequences on a relationship. The theses are opposite. The first says that intercourse has a negative effect on the state of mind, if not associated with love. The second says that sexual abstinence has a negative effect on the state of mind. In  the first case, intercourse is conditioned by love, and in the case of the second, intercourse is conditioned by knowledge (children have to be  educated about sexuality and contraception). The liberals say that sexual abstinence is unnatural and the conservatives reply that it’s unnatural to use contraception.

The negative attitude towards the body

Two theses:

• Sex has a harmful effect on mental health if it isn’t associated with love and trust in a steady and solid relationship.
• Sex is part of a person’s needs and if you don’t satisfy them, it has a harmful effect on mental health as well as the stability and durability of a relationship.

If the two theses are combined, the result is the following statement: sex can have a harmful effect on a person and his/her mental health. This is a rather unpleasant thesis, but it’s supported by an interesting change. It involves the attitude towards the body. Traditionalists, who believe that people are comprised of the soul and body, say that the soul can be stained if the body is used incorrectly. Similar to the claim according to which dirty food can stain the soul (which is believed by Jews and Muslims). The body is sinful in its basis for them. Liberalists say that the mind doesn’t have any power and control over the body and base their theory primarily on psychoanalysis. If you don’t eat, you die, and if you don’t have sex, you go crazy; it’s useless to fight against your body. In its basis, the body is a dangerous and uncontrollable thing. They both have a negative attitude towards the body and thus also to its fundamental need, sex. It’s high time to overcome this basically negative attitude towards the body shown in different forms everywhere in society. You have to listen to your body and take a positive attitude towards it.

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