Does the Number of Sexual Partners Really Matter?

13.09.2011 | By: T. P.

Were you ever questioned about the number of your sexual partners? Is it better to reply or not to reply? That’s the question.

A greater number of sexual partners does not necessarily mean more experience. (Photoxpress)

Join us on Facebook!

Does a greater number of sexual partners means a better lover?

A man who had many sexual partners likes to brag about it, at least in the company of others. The number of sexual partners is a sort of status symbol for him and it is supposed to signal that the person is wanted, hot, interesting, attractive and experienced. For a woman, bragging about the number of sexual partners is somehow not considered to be equally valued. However, more experiences do not always mean a better lover, as several partners do not mean that a woman is a tramp. We all know local 'don juans' who are at their sexual peak at the age of 23, look great, and all the girls aged between 16 and 18 are in love with them. However, a man becomes a good lover only by devoting attention to and exploring sexuality and not by changing short-lasting partners. In that way, he learns more coincidentally, if he learns at all. Moreover, such a man has sex because he has to satisfy his ego and does not take a woman’s pleasure into consideration. People gain experience only if they put an effort into an activity and understand the depth of the matter. Sexual intercourse is a delicate game of two bodies and minds and only gourmets who take time and seek its depth are good at it. There are also natural talents, but they are rare.

Is it better to keep quiet about the number of sexual partners?

Once you are asked, you always have to tell the truth. But if you are not asked, it is better to avoid the topic in certain cases. If a woman is a sensitive, gentle and fragile being who believes in undying love and devotion until death, then the realisation that you have already been with ten women before her probably won’t make her happy. If you have an extremely jealous girlfriend, she will be always suspicious about your ex girlfriends. If she is a virgin, she will feel very inexperienced around you and the idea that you slept with many women better than her won’t ease her mind. If you are a woman who has already been with ten guys, your boyfriend certainly does not want to hear about it. Do you think that is controversial? Naturally, nobody wants to hear that men are still convinced that a woman who frequently exchanges partners is “stained” with too many penises of other men. Similar to a car that had ten owners. One is already enough. You feel cramped and uncomfortable in a car that has been used by somebody else before you. Why there is such a difference between men and women, we can only speculate. Maybe women somehow conclude that a man only had sexual intercourse with these ten women and he did not actually love them, and that is the same as masturbation for him. So what if he has been with 20 women who meant nothing to him. Men think the other way round. If a woman slept with six guys, she already loved six men before him. How is then a man supposed to know that she loves him? How could she give her soul and body to so many men? Did she enjoy sexual intercourse with them more than she does with me? Were they better lovers? What if she cheats on me with her ex? What if she praises others in the company of her friends and she mocks me? What if….

Stereotypes about the number of sexual partners are destructive

All that we mentioned before is a bunch of stereotypes. Men are afraid so they function according to stereotypes. They are afraid of themselves, about how women assess them, because they basically fear them. They lack self-confidence and are therefore hurt by other people’s opinions. They lack self-confidence and therefore seek approval in claiming rights to other people. If these people do not belong only to them, and if they perceive their personality as reflected in their property, then they have a hard time to tolerate a woman who had a lot of men. The same goes for inexperienced women who are afraid how they will perform in bed. They project their fear onto men and their experiences. They rather believe in a stereotypical man as opposed to accepting the fact that love does not last forever. Thus, you have to get rid of fear in a relationship. You have to trust your partner because trust breeds trust. You have to be honest and fearless. You have to be open with your partner and trust him or her as much as possible. Only in that way he or she will get to know you and love you as a human being with all your mistakes.