Heterosexual men also have sex with men!

Some men need more from their friend than just watching a game together and drinking beer.

So what if I have sex with men! (jlp)

The term latent or “closet” gay is very frequently used. Despite the relatively improved situation of gays, there are still a lot of those who don’t make the decision to come out. But we won’t talk about them in this article.

They aren’t latent gays, they only sleep with men

 There’s nothing unusual about women, heterosexuals, hugging, kissing and caressing other women. On the other hand, men only show tenderness to other men in the form of tapping on their shoulders at the most or perhaps their buttocks if they feel excited because of a sporting event. After teenage years, intimate friendships among men are a very rare phenomenon. But some men need something more than the intimacy experienced by watching a game together and drinking beer. And they find the intimacy that a genuine male comradeship can offer in sexual intercourse. There’s an old saying that women need a feeling of closeness to have sexual intercourse, while men need sex to feel close to someone.

 

Preferences and identity don’t always overlap

Men seek out other men on the websites intended for gays. Straight men who have sex with men (SMSM) don’t have a homosexual identity.

 

They’re attracted by sexual act and not the person. (jlp)

 

Sexual preferences are desires and fantasies, while sexual identity is the manner in which a person identifies him- or herself: as bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual or something else. Preferences and identity don’t always overlap. This relation is much more complex. SMSM’s aren’t attracted to the same sex, but sexual intercourse or sexual act itself.

Why do men have sexual intercourse with men?

Joe Kort, therapist form Michigan, created a website called StraightGuise, intended for heterosexual men who have sex with men, where he provides his therapeutic services. The services are in no way based on the idea that gay or homosexual behaviour needs to be treated. He approaches men without any prejudices. As the most common reasons why straight men have sex with a same-sex person, Joe Kort states a desire for an anonymous sexual encounter, exploration of homoerotic desires, fulfilment of fantasies and no-strings-attached sex, which is much easier between men than between a man and woman. Other reasons, for example, are the financial reward, re-enactment of the trauma caused by sexual abuse, strong sexual desire, father hunger, narcissism, sexual addiction, exhibitionism, desire for submissiveness/humiliation, fetishism and so on.

Desire for intimacy

They mostly desire intimacy. (jlp)

In many cases, this mostly involves a desire for genuine contact with a man, desire for intimacy, even physical, and a deeper connection with a man. It often occurs that one of  the men only wants to talk and cuddle, but also agrees to have sexual intercourse that this intimacy brings.
These men hide such behaviour from their partner and family. The website StraightGuise is also preparing a special section for the partners of SMSM’s.

 

 

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