Terrible Lovers

19.04.2011 | By: T. G.

Why supporters of one-night stands are terrible lovers.

The emotional sexism against men often turns them into terrible lovers. (PhotoXpress)

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Many men are terrible lovers when it comes to one-night stands

One-night stands aren’t like Hollywood movies which bring both partners to an emotional orgasm. Why are men such terrible lovers when it comes to one-nighters? They want intimacy, but can’t accept it, so .

Men are terrible lovers because of social pressures

The idea that men use love to get sex and women use sex to show love must be a myth. Men want and need love and partnership as much as their female partners do, if not more, and women look for sexual pleasure and gratification as much as men do.

The catch is that it’s still unacceptable for a man to admit he needs an emotional connection because he would be considered weak, but if a woman is honest about her sexual desires, she’s immediately labelled a slut. It would be a good idea to forget about sexual stereotypes. But you know – old habits die hard. Men supposedly repress their emotions at the root and if they feel uncertain, it can affect their performance thereby making them terrible lovers with premature ejaculation or psychological erectile dysfunction problems.

The two types of terrible lovers and the good one

Fuckbuddies: They are victims of an existential emotional crisis, which they, naturally, completely deny. They try to have relations with as many women as possible to make themselves feel better. Their sex is cold, distant, emotionless and completely masturbatory: they use the female body to come – her pleasure is unimportant to them.

Friends with benefits: Either they didn’t have much casual sex or they just ended an important relationship. They’re looking for a connection with a woman, but are convincing themselves they’re looking only for sex.

In truth they’re looking for emotional comfort to boost their wounded ego or because they miss being near to someone. They have sex passionately, with love and sensually; they treat the woman as if they were partners.

Lovers: Either they’re single or they want more casual ways to relax or they want to find someone to emotionally connect with. They don’t necessarily look for sex purely for physical pleasure, they’re open to all opportunities that present themselves – even if this means ending up in a relationship with someone they thought would only be a one-night stand.

Their sex is generous, fun and relaxed; they treat a women as a friend, they like her intellect and also her body in bed.

Why fuckbuddies make terrible lovers

Afterward, the woman experiences a feeling of emptiness, having been used and the feeling that you were just a means for someone to empty himself. This isn’t an experience you’d want to hold on to.

Why pseudo-partners make terrible lovers

He’s of much higher quality, but he also carries a lot of baggage. These men don’t know about the need for emotional distance during casual sex and so they make love, even though they solemnly swear they only want sex. Physical pleasure isn’t enough, they crave for devotion. This is expressed towards someone they have no feelings for.

Many of these men seek comfort with prostitutes who offer so-called ‘partner experiences ‘. Instead of quick ‘in-out’ action, they get sex, fondling and the chance to confess. These men can then fake that they got what they wanted – even if only for an hour. And because they pay for it, it’s easier for them to justify that they only wanted sex.

While these men can be the best lovers once in a real relationship, they make terrible lovers when it comes to casual sex. When a woman wants ‘sex with a stranger’, he wants to lie in her arms and cuddle.

Why lovers outperform the terrible lovers by far

These men are emotionally mature, direct when expressing wishes and open to new things. Their expectations aren’t twisted because of repressed needs to show emotions or because of repression of sexual desires. they can have creative, athletic sex or, if the partner wants, something deeper as well. The intercourse is flirtatious, spontaneous, sensual and relaxed. The expression of true physical sexual desire ends with mutual pleasure.

Lovers understand Opens internal link in current window the difference between making love and fucking: they can have sex with a stranger, but the intercourse will still be generous and sensual without creating a false sense of intimacy. They make love without leading someone on. They are mature enough to see a woman as an equal, as a friend, even though they’re having casual sex. They have the ability to connect on an intellectual and emotional level. In short, they don’t create emotional confusion and general awkwardness.