Sex in Marriages

Among the numerous problems with which we are faced in serious relationships, maintaining quality sex life seems the most difficult one. How to keep up successful sex life in a marriage?

Maintaining a happy marriage is a kind of art. (jlp)

Knowing the partner's desires well may become a double-edged sword as it ushers in routine and boredom. Also, daily chores and obligations drain the energy which used to be sufficient for maintaining the intense gaze and fire in the eyes. There are minor grudges and emotional tension between the partners, different schedules, living with their parents or children, the neighbours who are too loud etc. In addition, sexual desire slowly disappears through the years because of our biological predispositions.

Yes, marriage is a lot about sex, but your relationship shouldn't be based on sex. (jlp)

The solution to all of these problems is to realize that sex isn't the centre of life. Problems arise if the partners want to establish the previous state in every possible way, or if the desires of one person considerably differ from the desires of the other person. A relationship mustn't be based on sex, otherwise it would be limited to the duration of the intercourse itself. It happens that couples, in the desire for sex, establish an extremely tense relationship that makes sexual intercourse impossible.

Sexual routine is one of the greatest enemies of long-term relationships. (jlp)

Especially men are prone to take it hard when being turned down by their partner. Anger and dissatisfaction start to accumulate and the vicious circle is established. The most difficult are the cases where the sexual desire of one of the partners is much greater, which forces this partner to satisfy his or her needs outside the relationship. There are few relationships where people are relaxed enough towards sex to allow other people in the relationship or even encourage that.

Honest conversation is the key to happiness in marriage. (jlp)

Solutions are always so simple: conversation, conversation, conversation. Therapists dealing with partner relationships won't ask you when was the last time you had sex, but when was the last time you had a conversation. You can read a lot on how to make sex more exciting on the Internet. On the other hand, how to be honest is a difficult question which remains unanswered.

Anyone who wonders what does honest conversation have to do with sex should try talking to their partners and do it with all honesty. If our recipe doesn't work for you, you can still offer your partner a vibrator and fluffy handcuffs.