Why Doesn't My Partner Have the Same Desire for Sex as I Do?

24.05.2010 | By: S. J.

Do not bother yourself with the question why things are as they are, and check how you can face the challenge when your desire for sex is not as strong as it once was.

Desire for sex depends on a lot of different factors. (Photoxpress)

Desire for sex at the beginning of a relationship

If you have entered into a new relationship, your desire for sex is probably very high and you just cannot get enough of each other. After a while, you probably realize that you have sex less frequently than you were used to. Some people also need a little more time to adapt to the new partner, which in fact is not at all bad. By slowly exploring the bodies of each other you become increasingly relaxed. In addition, an "ideal" sex life cannot be measured by the number of sexual intercourses that the partners have, but by the quality of sexual intercourses that they have.

Positive thinking will increase your desire for sex

Do not immediately think that the reason for the lack of sexual desire in your partner is because the partner wants to leave you. If his or her behavior towards you has not changed in other aspects, there may be another reason for the lack of his or her desire for sex. Moreover, who says that there is a certain sex limit that we have to reach every week, otherwise something is wrong with the relationship. People are different and it is therefore nothing wrong if you are very horny one month and less horny another month. Sometimes the problem is on the part of the person whose desire for sex is too strong.

Desire for sex is connected to stress

Instead of being upset because there is not enough sexual activity in your life, show some sympathy and care for your partner. Is your partner tired, depressed, under stress or takes any medication? All this may have a significant effect on his or her desire for sex, and it is therefore very important that you stand by your partner's side. By pressuring and forcing your partner into an intercourse which he or she does not want to have, you will be seen as very selfish and as a result you will have an additional negative influence on the partner' behavior.

How to deal with decreasing desire for sex

Talk to your partner and try not to put pressure on him or her. Conversation should be tender and calm, without any threats and complaints, because this is the only way to establish why the current changes have occurred. With joint efforts and patience you can overcome the obstacles regarding the partner's lack of desire for sex. You can also masturbate if you think that you do not have enough sex. Why not? It is completely natural, legal and good for you.

If things do not improve in time, visit a marriage counselor, psycho-sexual therapist or even a doctor for consultations. Try to arrange the visit together with your partner. Does your better half resist conversation, and does he or she constantly seems cold towards you? In this case, things do not look very promising. However, try and get to the bottom of the matter and find out whether conversation with an expert disgusts him or her because of the belief that there is nothing wrong with the relationship. In any case, we hope that everything works out for the best.