Sex Life of People with Fibromyalgia (Fibrositis)

8.02.2010 | By: T. B.

How to decrease the effect of pain resulting from fibromyalgia or fibrositis and maintain a satisfactory sex life for both partners?

It’s important for partners to have an honest conversation about fibromyalgia to avoid a break-up. (jlp)

What is fibromyalgia?

Fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS) belongs to the group of rheumatic disorders that don’t affect joints. People usually feel an extended pain in the muscles and tendons of the whole body, but at first they can only feel pain in one part of the body and the pain later also extends to other body parts. Pain is described differently, as a burning pain or a tearing pain or stiffness. Approximately 90% of people with fibromyalgia are moderately or very tired and have poorer physical capabilities, or they're even so tired as if having a flu or lack of sleep. Problems with fatigue are sometimes greater than pain. People suffering from fibromyalgia have mood swings and feel completely depressed, worried about their fate and anxious, but about 30% of them are truly depressed. Women often have painful periods and problems with menstruation. In the past, fibromyalgia was all too often treated as a mental disorder. Patients are still diagnosed incorrectly – with depression syndrome.

Fibromyalgia affects the patient as well as their partner. (jlp)

How to make sex life pleasant despite pain?

There are several factors that affect sex life of people suffering from fibromyalgia, such as: pain, fatigue, depression and pills. Naturally, an important role is also played by patients themselves and their acceptance of the disease as well as their partners.

Use a lot of pillows and other cushions. Place them underneath and around you. Let the place of sexual intercourse be really soft and tender. Pain can be caused by frustrations that avert a person to think of sex. Sexual intercourse requires a bit more planning because you have to save your energy through the day to be able to let yourself go in the evening. Don’t force yourself to have sex, since this causes more discomfort than pleasure.

Despite the fact that you have to deal with your own dissatisfaction, anger and depression, try to understand your partner. Your diagnosis, fibromyalgia, has changed his/her life too. Listen to each other’s fears. Understanding is one of the steps on the way to better sex life. Only if your partner understands what you’re going through, he/she’ll be able to appropriately adapt.

Nice, soft place can make sex easier. (jlp)

Don’t turn your partner down

Even if you feel worthless, don’t turn your partner down. The result is anger and the feeling of unattractiveness in both partners. Sometimes the partner has to assume a more active role in sex life than the patient.

Relaxation is very important for people with fibromyalgia because it alleviates pain. Try to start with a massage or a hot bath. It’s important to have a relaxed body as many patients feel the true consequences of sex the next day. Muscles contract during sexual intercourse, which can make sex very unpleasant and associated with negative sensations and thus avoided. If you feel that you aren’t relaxed enough, don’t exert pressure on your body. Tomorrow is a new day.

Relax yourself with a massage, bath or laughter. (jlp)

Laughter is the best medicine

Apart from a massage and bath, laughter also reduces stress and tension. Laughter can break silence and fear. On the other hand, sex also helps alleviating pain because hormones are released. Even if you don’t reach an orgasm, endorphins are released and they relax your body.
Tantric sex contributes to greater intimacy and knowledge of the body, which is particularly important for people with fibromyalgia.