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my sweetie is jealous of my exes

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Written on: 6. Apr 2010 19:49
lemoncake
Topic creator
lemoncake
registered since: 06.04.2010
Posts: 1
I'm in love with my present girlfriend. I'm still friends with two of my ex girlfriends. She's allergic to them, she doesn't want me to talk to them; she has no reason for jealousy, but I don't want to lose friends. What can I do?
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Written on: 7. Apr 2010 10:43
Mario42
Mario42
registered since: 18.03.2010
Posts: 5
If I were you, I wouldn't give in to her demands. If she can't live with you being friends with your exes, who are just exes, then she should move on if she likes to. You should never give up friends because of a girlfriend. If you give in to her whims, things will only get worse and in the end you will lose your whole personality. Just stick to your life-style. If she loves you, she will accept it.
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Written on: 7. Apr 2010 13:06
andrea24
andrea24
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31

what about considering your girlfriend's feelings? You don't have to completely stop communicating with your exes, but perhaps you don't have to see them as often as you do? or when they write to you, show your gf their messages, and when you for a drink with an ex, invite your current gf to join you, so she'll see you aren't hiding anything from her. She'll then be able to trust you.
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Written on: 7. Apr 2010 21:31
supersonic
supersonic
registered since: 20.03.2010
Posts: 4

Jealousy never ends well. It seems to me your "sweetie" doesn't have enough self-confidence. Or it might be you're making her feel insecure by something you do that you aren't even aware of, so I suggest talking to her - talking, talking and still more talking...
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Written on: 3. May 2010 09:39
Horus
Horus
registered since: 06.04.2010
Posts: 16
Lemoncake, do you let her know that you consider her "superior" to your exes? Even if it is not necessarily true, women sometimes need this kind of affirmation to boost their self-confidence.

And don't EVER compare her to your exes unless you're trying to emphasize how much better she is.
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Written on: 3. May 2010 14:17
lollypop
lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 63
supersonic >


Jealousy never ends well. It seems to me your "sweetie" doesn't have enough self-confidence. Or it might be you're making her feel insecure by something you do that you aren't even aware of, so I suggest talking to her - talking, talking and still more talking...


I honestly don't know if that would make me feel more at ease if I were in her shoes. What if it turned out that one of them actually was better-looking?

I'd say that you should put your foot down that she can't dictate who you can or cannot hang out with. Then again neither can you, if she happens to meet a handsome new co-worker or someone the like.
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Written on: 4. May 2010 09:59
Horus
Horus
registered since: 06.04.2010
Posts: 16
He can't dictate who he can hang out with? icon_wink.gif

Anyway, I'd agree with this theory of putting the foot down, if it weren't for the fact, that a woman, who is already terrified of losing you, would probably jump to the conclusion that you're likely cheating already and that's why you don't want to stop seeing the exes.
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Written on: 5. May 2010 10:16
andrea24
andrea24
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31
Why would someone tell him to insist on seeing his exes!? They are EXes for a reason! His current gf's feelings SHOULD outweigh those he has for his exes!
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Written on: 7. May 2010 15:39
lollypop
lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 63
Why do I get the feeling you're getting a bit too involved in this? Did you ever go through something like this yourself?

He just wants to hang out with them, not spend the weekend with them!
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