Confusion - 1

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Written on: 30. May 2010 23:17
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
Or he could have just be polite and want to keep the conversation running (can u even say that? dunno, English's not my native language).

I don't know what's going on in there and frankly I still want to be kept in the bliss of not being aware. What you don't know can't hurt you after all.
I'll prolly just hint about the concert, cause gathering up that much courage is beyond my limit right now.

BTW maybe some of you know how can I boost my confidence a bit?
Oh and did I mention that my close friend, whom I worked with also, told me that my crush asked him a bit about me? Even before I started crushing on the guy.



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Written on: 31. May 2010 21:39
andrea24
andrea24
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31

Hey,

I think that if you feel too uncomfortable about asking him out, just play it safe. Mention the concert, maybe he'll show up.
As Giselle said go out to places that he's going, I'm sure it won't be too hard to find out where he likes to go.
I completely understand you because I'm the type of woman that usually waits for the guy to make the first step.

I think confidence is about feeling good in your own body, so think positive about yourself, don't think you're someone that noone would take a second look at, but think of yourself as a smart, sexy girl that anyone would be happy to have.
I know that positive thinking about yourself and your life really helps.
If you don't know how, maybe borrow some books on self-esteem at the library, they'll give you some advice.
Or treat yourself to a new haircut, buy some new clothes that will make you feel really good.
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Written on: 31. May 2010 22:59
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
Well my self-esteem is really really low.
I don't think of myself as atractive, cause I was led to believe that I'm no one and that I will achieve nothing.
I know it's not true, but when someone (especially if it's someone closely related) tells you things about yourself long enough, you start to believe them and take them as truth.
That's why I don't think I deserve anyone, but I'm willing to risk my soul being broken for a chance at love.

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Written on: 1. Jun 2010 17:15
lollypop
lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 63


That's not a good way to live your life. If you were led to believe that you're not good enough I think you're old enough to face the problems, maybe even seek some professional help, and stop blaming your parents for your low self-esteem. Take life into your own hands because you're responsible for it and no one else.
For starters, stop thinking you don't deserve anyone, but consciously convince yourself that you deserve to be loved. If it helps, even say it out loud, so many times, that you start to believe it yourself.
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Written on: 1. Jun 2010 22:58
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
Actually it wasn't my mom, it was my older by 3 years sister. Yes, I know I'm old enough, but I don't have what it takes to face my problems and I don't have time to go to professional therapist, nor the money.
Besides, if I'm good enough, then why I was intrested in never wanted me?


That's no use. All I do is pity myself. I want to change. I really do. But how can I believe in myself when no one around does? It's a vicious circle than I don't know how to break.

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Written on: 3. Jun 2010 10:10
lollypop
lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 63


Maybe if you borrow some books on the subject, I'm sure they'll give you an idea what you can do.
I think it's far from reality that no one believes in you.
What about your friends? I'm sure they think you're worth having as a friend and they must really like you, too. So not everything is so pessimistic. Stay positive and everything will seem much better.

What about your crush? Did you decide to ask him out or just to mention the concert to him?

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Written on: 3. Jun 2010 11:14
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
From what I lerned 2 days ago even asking him would be pointless, because he's going home for the weekend on Friday afternoon right after work, so he's not even in the city.
He also told me he's quitting the job. I have untill the end of October to make sth out of it and after that.. well you can figure it out by yourself.

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Written on: 5. Jun 2010 20:45
lollypop
lollypop
registered since: 08.03.2010
Posts: 63


If you don't even try do to something then you may regret it later. You should just give it a try and use every opportunity you have to make something out of it.
If he refuses you, you know he'll be gone by October and you won't have to see him everyday. If something does happen maybe he'll change his mind.
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Written on: 6. Jun 2010 04:22
William
William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
It would really help you to find someone to think through your self-esteem issues.

If you have no one and no money to hire a therapist, then continue to write to us. We don't know you. But...it is surprising how much strangers can help if you open up a little bit. It's helped me in the past. I've not yet seen an evil person on this site. Besides you are anonymous so they/we really can't do you any harm.

What is good about you?
What do you see as bad about you?
Other than your older sister, is there something or someone keeping you down?
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Written on: 10. Jun 2010 13:44
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
Well I'm honest and I like helping any way I can. I also like and can make people smile, even through goofing around. I have some kind of distance towards myself. I have big imagination if it can be considered good. Uhh.. that's about it.

I feel not worthy enough to be noticed, to be wanted, although I crave for the attention. I crave to be desired, to be cherished. But I'm afraid. I have trust issues. Besides I'm really shy.

Other than her? My father. My peers. Myself. I have depressive thoughts. Almost slit my wrists when I was 16. I was not very social and I felt that if I called somebody and asked to hang out too much then I would be seen as importunate. So I haven't called anyone. My stories became my world, though they shouldn't have.

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