Confusion - 2

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Written on: 10. Jun 2010 17:44
William
William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
Did you create that film...is that one of your stories? If so, you have an incredible talent.

Honest, imagination, make people smile. All good.

But you feel you're not worthy of attention. If you can make people smile, then you are worthy of attention. People love to smile.

You are depressed. You need to find a way to get help. True depression is a mental illness that is nearly always curable. You will feel much better, alive, passionate, etc., once you get help.

You did not mention one negative thing about yourself other than depression. That's pretty impressive. I can name several negative things about myself but still think I'm an ok guy to get to know.

Yes...it is a guy thing....but go get what you want. Sitting around depressed won't work. Prince Charming might find you....but more likely is that you'll have to find him or whatever it is that will excite passion in you.

Get outside your head: exercise, join groups, network with people, tease boys, smile at people you know and those you don't know.

You seem to feel that everyone else is "cool" and wouldn't want to hang out with you. It is my experience that many are like you: waiting for someone to be interested in them. So....be interested in other people. Listen to others, ask them questions about who they are and where they are going.

I'm not saying you have to pretend to like football or the latest personal dramas but...listening to people, caring about them even a little bit will get you outside of your own head.
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Written on: 21. Jun 2010 10:06
andrea24
andrea24
registered since: 01.04.2010
Posts: 31

Noirchatte,

how have things been lately? Has there been any improvement in your love life?
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Written on: 23. Jun 2010 23:12
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
Unfortunately it's not my work, but it's so.. great I had to share it. I'm kind of like this guy, from other city, feeling somewhat lonely. My collegue from work said I should get outside more. But when I told him I don't have anyone to go out with, he didn't have a response. I'm into archery for quite a while now, but I'm not sure whether 23 is not a bit to late to start.

There's more than this one, but I just thought at the moment of that. I like listening to ppl, but I also like to analyze them and not everyone is happy when I do that, although it's more of a subconscious thing that I do.

About any improvement. I think there is a little step forward. We had a few little chit-chats here and there, but nothing much.

My friends and I came up with a code name for my crush so that no one will know. "The Pooh" LOL xD They also said that if I have that much problem to talk to him, then they can do it. I would like that, cause even if I'd want to ask him out, my mouth just isn't working the way I want it to and I can't force the words out of it. On the other hand I don't think it'd be such a good idea. Yeah, I'm chickening out, but if I don't break through whatever is holding me back, it will still paralyze me. Still, it's hard as hell.

Any advice?

[This article was edited 1 times, at last 23.06.2010 at 23:15.]

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Written on: 27. Jun 2010 00:25
William
William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
Well, find three guys you like and talk to each of them. Start with the easiest one first. Find something about each of the that you like and more importantly that they like. Anything to get them talking to you even if about themselves. Have a back up plan to do something you really like...going out with girlfriends or something.

The easiest thing to do is just go and smile nicely at him. Everyone loves to be smiled at. Find out some piece of information that would be of interest to him. Bump into him in a hallway. Find out who his friends are and be nice to them.
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Written on: 30. Jun 2010 19:47
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
I thought about that going out with girlfriends, when it enlightened me that.. I don't really have many to begin with and most of them is either married and quite older than me, taken and busy or don't live in the same city as I am. That's a bummer.

Well, it's my b-day today and I've made a cake yesterday. I was really afraid it won't be good, cause it was the first time I used that recipe. It turned out really yummy. My co-workers didn't believe me at first I made it myself xD But, that's not the point. When he gave me best wishes, he kissed my cheeks. Well, most of them did so, but when it came to him, it still makes me want to squeel like a schoolgirl LOL and then melt like a chocolate left on the sun.

Also not more than 2 days ago I was accosting him all day long, like I pretended to want to pull him down from the machine by grabbing his calf. I almost got over that intimidating feeling I had around him. The only way left is to ask him out. Or make it so he will ask me out. Our co-worker just quit from work and he has farewell party next saturday. The Pooh is suppoused to be there as well :yay: The problem is there also will be 2 guys I had an episode with and I really don't want this to hinder me from trying to get Pooh. And I'm afriad that's exactly what will happen.

There's one more thing. My former co-worker whom we call Jerry (the same that just quit) said something that's a bit disturbing to me. He's a joker and a ladies man and I don't really know whether he was just fooling around or not. He said: "You'll be mine anyway." Nobody has ever been possesive towards me and I don't know if to take it seriously or to make nothing out of it.

And to think all of this happened in the last 3 days. Wow.

[This article was edited 1 times, at last 30.06.2010 at 19:48.]

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Written on: 30. Jun 2010 19:55
William
William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
NoirChatte,

You only belong to a man when and to the degree you choose to belong to him. A man can't claim you.

You sound hot so it seems like you should go get the man/men you want!! Ignore rejection and especially just the possibility of rejection. Life is too short. Go have fun!

It is also a good idea to go find girl friends your own age and near you. Lots of people are lonely even for "just" friendship.
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Written on: 30. Jun 2010 20:01
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
I know he won't force me into anything, but I consider him a friend. Like an older brother and I don't want that relations between us to change. And it will if he tries sth. I will stay clear of him and I don't want to lose him as a friend.

I sound hot? LOL Really. Just enlighten me whether I'm thinking the way you do and explain where did you get that from.

To tell you the truth, I don't know how to find any girlfriends. It's stupid, yes, but it's true. I make friends with ppl I'm surrounded with.

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Written on: 30. Jun 2010 20:30
William
William
registered since: 19.04.2010
Posts: 35
The most attractive thing about any woman is desire for men (or a man) and her desire to be desired. You also sound vulnerable and intelligent. I love strong, confident women who allow themselves to also be vulnerable and lusty. What could be more entrancing than that?

A very important thing with men is to be clear with no mind games. This friend of yours may well also appreciate clarity. I'm not suggesting you are doing anything wrong. Sounds like you are making good progress, in fact.

For most people, it is also a good idea to have non-sexual, same gender relationships. Sexual relationships have been the most fantastic of my life. But I would not want to go long without "just a friend" too. That is also a great aspect of being a person.

Go for it!

William

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Written on: 30. Jun 2010 20:44
NoirChatte
Topic creator
NoirChatte
registered since: 29.05.2010
Posts: 20
I feel pretty now LOL. Just kidding, but the praise did boost my confidence a bit. Thanks.

You think that he may be deceived to thinking that I want sth more from him? I didn't say it in words, but I think I was clear about it. He kissed me once. Well, it was just a peck on the lips, but still I told him right away I didn't like that he did it. Besides he knows about my attraction towards The Pooh. Actually he was the first one I told about me crushing on the guy. Arrrgh it's just so freaking confusing.

About the mind games. I may be a tease (my friend told me once I am), but I don't like to be played, so I don't play. Just fooling around a bit, make good-natured fun of ppl and of myself. My friend told me a few days ago she has 3 worlds with me and then some. True, I am being prude in the least possible moments. Out of my control though.

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Written on: 9. Aug 2010 09:29
michel
michel
registered since: 19.07.2010
Posts: 14


A very interesting story, I'd love to know what happened next. Did you get the guy or not?
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