Sure Ways to Ruin Your Sex Life

You will not get what you want from sex if you make the following mistakes.

Do you compare yourself to others?

Sex is one of the most subjective experiences in human life. We must always consider the fact that a friend's advice, advice from a book or a therapist may help someone, but is not suitable for someone else. Never compare yourself to others; instead focus on what feels good to you and your partner and always be adamant about it.

Have you stopped paying attention?

With sex, action isn't the only important thing. It's just as important to realize how we feel. And from birth until the day we die our bodies and minds constantly change. This means that our sexuality's constantly changing as well. When we stop paying attention to our sexual feelings and experiences, our sexual development stops. We have to make it our goal to pay more attention to our sex life with age and not less.

Are you neglecting your body? 

Nobody has a perfect body and it makes no sense to compare ourselves to the ideal bodies we see in the media. But whatever state our body is in, it's a very important part of our sex life we must never neglect - not only for our partner's sake, but mostly for our own sake. Taking regular and good care of your body is one of the better ways to maintain your sex life.

Do you feel you cannot learn anything?

We all live with a certain amount of sexual ignorance. Ignorance always increases the chance of our risking something: above all, we risk having bad sex, or getting a sexually transmitted disease, or regretting some decision. Be open to new knowledge, which can benefit you. You should never stop learning.

Are you too serious? 

Sex is basically the closest thing an adult has to playing and to childhood games. Because sexuality is connected to so many adult things, like becoming a parent, or responsibility to the partner, we cannot afford to forget that it can be fun. If sex becomes just one more area in our life that is serious and burdened with routine, it loses all its power - the magical quality it brings into our lives.

Have you given up on creativity?

If you decide that the way you currently have sex is the only way to do it, you're on a good way to being sexually disappointed in life. Regardless of your political or religious beliefs, there are countless ways to express and experience your sexuality. This doesn't mean that you have to try out every sexual practice or position that exists, but only that you have to become creative when having sex.

Do you let your fear guide you? 

Sex is in fact a bit frightening. Partly because we know so little about it, partly because we're totally uncovered and partly because we lose control. That's why many people keep to themselves when it comes to sex: we don't discuss our wishes, we don't say what we really want or what we fantasize about. In other words, we hide and we don't wish to push our partner over the edge. However, if we're in an honest relationship full of trust, it stands to reason that the more we let our fear lead us, the less we get out of the relationship. Just tell your lover what you want him or her to do.